The Babel Tsunami | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: The Babel Tsunami | Previous Challenge Entry
By Graham Keet
05/19/20
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Imagine you’re visiting London and are offered a lift. After climbing into the car the driver turns to you and says: “Please don’t laugh and a joke in my jam jar as it makes me mince pies burn”. Before you throw the door open and run for your life, ask him to translate his Cockney slang into normal English. He will probably give you a strange look and then tell you he doesn’t like smoking in his car as it make his eyes burn. Here you have a sub-culture that gradually broke away from the “Queen’s English” and invented its own colorful terminology for everyday concepts.

The language confusion that started at the Tower of Babel not only caused the diversity of nations that spread throughout the world, but also instilled in Man the fervent desire to strive to be different. The drivers of change are varied. Perhaps the most remarkable breakaways from traditional English were driven by innovations in communication, particularly over the past twenty five years.

The advances in the power of computers as they progressed from desk tops to laptops and then to tablets and smart phones made it possible for almost every person on the planet to have a device close at hand. As people began to substitute speech with texting the need for speed in communicating became imperative. This led to a baffling concoction of modern idiom, the likes of which have left most people over sixty shaking their heads and retreating back to the “good old days”.

Imagine a grey haired sage sitting in the sun on his front verandah when suddenly the clatter and clash of drums and cymbals in his pocket jolts him from his daydreaming. Gropingly he hauls out the offending device given him by his grandson and lowers his spectacles to survey the cause of the noise. He has been given brief instructions on how to manipulate the beast and so he pushes buttons until the noise stops and a message appears on the screen. It reads: “Grandpa, DYK I’ll be in town tomorrow with my GF to wish you HBD? LMK if this is OK with you. Dave”. Depending on his prior training the old man would either put the device back in his pocket and continue daydreaming, or he could reply with: “TYVM, come whenever U can. I’m KK with anytime, it’s no BD” (Thank you very much, come whenever you can. I’m cool with anytime, it’s no big deal).

Teenage slang used both in conversation and on social media is constantly changing. An unfortunate downside of messaging is the proliferation of cyber bullying, drug use and sex. In this regard parents need to make an effort to be aware of some of the slang used by their teenagers, especially idioms that could be harmful. A message that refers to someone as “jelly” means they are jealous, “thirsty” indicates a deep desire, “Netflix and chill” means getting together in an often too-cozy fashion, and many more. Even worse would be to see “GNOC” or “53X” on your teens phone as these mean “get naked on camera” and “sex” respectively.

Some believe telepathic communication is the ultimate, but this too could have drawbacks. It often happens with smartphones that you inadvertently “pocket dial” someone on your contact list. You, as originator of the call, have no idea you have dialed a number, but after answering the called party can hear everything you are saying. Now if telepathy were possible, and if you could contact someone by merely thinking of them, you would need to guard your thoughts very carefully so as not to inadvertently “pocket dial” someone, thus enabling them to be tuned into your thought life!

We are told that before the Tower of Babel all of mankind spoke a common language derived via Noah and stretching back to Adam and Eve. Noah’s great, great grandson Nimrod, the warrior king widely believed to be the one who wanted to defy God and build a tower that reached up to heaven, could have saved us all this trouble if, instead of challenging the Most High, he had concentrated on constructing townhouses or a nice shopping mall.

Fortunately language is flexible, allowing us to accept variations. We don’t text our friends as if writing an academic paper, and we don’t speak to them as if addressing a public meeting. Language is like putty—we can bend it to fit into the nooks and crannies of our everyday lives.

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