The Alien | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: The Alien | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dave Walker
05/19/20
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Jimmy lay on the couch, his feet over one armrest and his head on the other. His baseball cap was still on backwards and his ear was pressed to his cellphone.

"Man, you shoulda been at the surf this morning. It was sick."

He gave a stretch and dipped his hand into a bowl of crisps. "Yea, I know, but the waves were so cool."

He glanced at me. "Yea, my old man is here, looking on. He's an OK boomer, but still cool."

It was at this point I realised I was raising an alien. He inhabited sick beaches with cold waves. In my late thirties I was an old man and quietly spoken, I was a boomer.

I wandered over to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. Jimmy took his phone from his ear. "Hey dad, be a bodman and get me one too."

Where did this start? Ever since Jane's death left me with Jimmy to raise, we'd been good buddies. He was only six when she died, but I managed. We'd chat about all sorts of things. I'd take him to the ball games and go fishing by the river. There was no hint he'd been planted on me from a different planet. It was just when the hormones entered his system in their hordes that he became strange. I understood his mood swings and his discovery that his dad, who was an authority on everything in the universe just a few short years back now knew nothing. I retired graciously when he pushed me out of the way while fixing a tap washer saying, "Here, Dad. This is how it's done." (I refrained from reminding him that I'd taught him.)

Those were, I knew, the hormones talking. But it was the language that gave it away. Just like a German can pretend to be a Russian until he speaks, so an alien can simulate a young man until he opens his mouth.

I decided to confront him, but not now. For now I'd give him his coffee and listen in. It was revealing.

"I was, you know, making out with Barbs. She's so ashley. But then Robbie pitches. He's so basic, but she takes a shine on him and I'm left cold. I was so salty."

So, now I'm trying to work out what my alien son is up to. He was making something out of doors with Barbara. It must have been on the beach, because he became salty. But what did Robbie pitch at them that made Barbara shiny? And who was ashley?

That evening I faced Jimmy across the table. "So, Jimmy, where do you really come from?"

He gave me that blank look most parents with teenagers are familiar with, so I continued, "I've been listening to you and you're speaking a foreign language. Where are you from that you speak like that?"

Then all at once, I had my old Jimmy back. I saw his eyes soften and he gave me an affectionate smile.

"It's the way we talk, Dad among ourselves. I'm still your son. It's just that it gives us a sense of identity among our friends. You needn't worry. My heart's still in the right place. I still love Jesus." He gave me a sly smile. "He's still legendary."

Then he became serious again. "But you know, Dad, it's not just us teenagers that have our own particular language. Have you ever thought what some of our churchy language must sound like to someone who never sets foot in a church?"

I leaned forward as he continued, "What do you think goes through their mind when you say you're leaning on the Word? Or crucifying the flesh? Or keeping in step with the Spirit? Or, worst of all covered in the Blood? These are words for your "in" group, but think about what images they might conjure up in the mind of the unchurched. I'm talking to you in plain language now, Dad, because I want us to understand one another. But when I'm with my "in" group I use their language." He gave me a look beyond his years. "Maybe you should be careful to do the same when you talk to the unchurched."

I walked around the table and gave him a hug. "I love you, son."

He hugged me back. "I love you Dad." Then, with a twinkle in his eye, "You're boomtown!"

Glossary:
Sick -- fantastic
Cool -- great
Old man -- father
O.K. boomer -- someone with traditional ideas
Bodman -- a good man
Making out -- getting romantic
Ashley -- beautiful
Pitches -- arrives
Salty -- angry
Legendary -- absolutely the best
Boomtown -- great

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