Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Grrr! (01/28/10)
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TITLE: The Grrr Inside of Me | Previous Challenge Entry
By Melanie Kerr
02/03/10 -
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A nasty, horrid beast
And all it takes is anger for
The Grrr to be released
Sometimes the Grrr is sleeping
But then one day he wakes
A pushchair banged against the legs
Is sometimes all it takes
At once the Grrr is hissing
He snarls and sometimes snaps
And if he gets to close to you
He reaches out and slaps
The Grrr has such a vast array
Of words he’s dipped in rage
He daubs it on a person’s heart
Like words upon a page
He’s very rarely sorry
For anything he’s done
And if the Grrr is challenged says
T’was only harmless fun
The Grrr is always ready
Whatever time or place
To be there in an instance
And show his ugly face
I wish that someone stronger than
The Grrr would rescue me
I’ve heard that there is such a man
The man from Galilee
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The only thing I might consider changing is this line:
And if the Grrr is challenged says
T’was only harmless fun
to something like this:
If the Grr is challenged he says...
Just taking out the word and, then inserting the word he seems to flow better to my ear.
But I think it is a beautiful poem and you do a great job with rhythm and meter.
Thank you for sharing a lovely part of your heart.
So well written, easy to follow, says so much with so few words. Poetically correct. Top drawer!
Mona