Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: ADAGE (10/05/23)
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TITLE: Shopping | Previous Challenge Entry
By Dennis Gallemore
10/10/23 -
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Jasmine Owens glanced at the nearby tables in the coffee shop before returning her gaze to her best friend. “Tess, I really don’t care how great the sales are going to be on Black Friday. The crowds in the stores the day after Thanksgiving are horrendous. I’m not going to subject myself to all of that.”
Sitting across the diminutive table, Tess sighed heavily. “There’s some risk involved; that’s a given. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But what’s a little bruise or two compared to the deals that I, I mean we, could get by doing some early Christmas shopping?”
Jasmine rolled her eyes. “Really? Why risk getting hurt at all? Order online like everyone else in the known universe.”
Tess leaned forward. “It’s the thrill of the hunt, my hesitant friend. Sure, you could spend thousands of dollars and jet off to the Serengeti for a wild animal safari, but why do that when we could drive downtown and hit a few swanky stores? No gun required.” Looking thoughtful, she picked up her coffee and took a sip. “It would probably be a good idea to take pepper spray though. Better safe than sorry.”
“Pepper spray?” Jasmine nearly choked on her own coffee. “Are you serious?” She studied her friend’s face. “I can’t always tell when you are joking and when you aren’t.”
Tess frowned. “Holiday shopping isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s serious business. It’s brutal, down-in-the trenches, hand-to-hand combat at times.”
Groaning, Jasmine shook her head. “You’ve been spending way too much time watching the History Channel.”
“What can I say? I’m a history major. It’s what I do.”
“No, it’s what you study, but whatever. Shopping should be enjoyable. If you aren’t going to shop online, then at least shop on some other day than Black Friday. If you do, I’ll go with you, as long as you leave the mace in your purse.”
“Pepper spray.”
“Whatever. The point is, Tess, that you are getting way too caught up in the buying of Christmas gifts. That’s not what Christmas is about.”
Tess groaned. “Oh yeah; here we go. The Christmas Lecture, presented in all of its glory by one Jasmine Owens, investigative reporter wannabe. Are you planning on writing a Pulitzer prize-winning expose of the horrible, nasty, no-good, Christmas shopping racket?”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with my journalism degree when I graduate, but if I do any investigative reporting, the first story that I’m going to write will concern the nature of your demented brain, Tess.”
“Ouch,” Tess replied with a grin, “You wound me to the quick.”
“Look, all I’m saying is that Christmas is more than just shopping for presents.”
Tess nibbled a gingerbread cookie. “You’re absolutely right. It’s also about wrapping them. I don’t know why you’re complaining; I’m going to give you a great gift just like I did last year.”
“You gave me a new set of windshield wipers and a gallon of de-icer.”
Tess nodded. “They were very thoughtful gifts. In my defense, they were supposed to go to my brother, Paul. I just got the name tags switched. Get over it. In any case, why are you making such a big deal out of this? Remember the old saying?”
Jasmine shook her head. “What old saying?”
“God helps those who help themselves.”
“How in the world does that adage apply here?
Tess smiled. “God provides all of these great things on sale to shoppers like me who help themselves to them!”
“Are you at least going with me to the Christmas Eve service at St. Canera’s this year?”
Tess nodded. “I will if you go with me to one of the sales. It doesn’t have to be a Black Friday sale. Stan’s Plus and More Store is having a Puce Monday sale and Samantha’s More and More Store is having a Chartreuse Tuesday sale and…”
Jasmine groaned. “Whoever said, ‘All’s well that ends well,’ never met my friend Tess.”
Author’s Note: Just thought a little bit of humor would be welcome right now! As they say, “Laughter is the best medicine.”
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