Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: Gender (07/06/23)
-
TITLE: Being Me | Previous Challenge Entry
By Amy Michelle Wiley
07/13/23 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
I rolled out of bed. “A dress?”
She shrugged. “I figured you wouldn’t want to stand out too much on the first day in a new town.”
I was too tired to argue. Too nervous. As we stepped into church the skirt fluttered around me. The top pulled tight at my chest. I felt like a cat in doll clothes. Surely everyone would notice how out of place I was.
A man at the door held out a hand. “Welcome, young lady! I’m Jim.”
“I’m Cla—” my name caught in my throat. Bile rose and I stumbled backwards. I pushed into a door and slid down the wall, sucking in air.
“Oh, hello.”
My head jerked up. This was not the bathroom. A man with a clerical collar sat at a couch, papers spread on his lap.
“I’m sorry.” I pushed up to leave, but my skirt tangled and I pitched forward. So much for not drawing attention.
“Are you okay?” The man moved a chair towards me. “Here, catch your breath.”
Yeah, no. I was not going to sit down with some pastor. But when I glanced at his eyes, they were so caring, so friendly without a hint of judgment. My legs quivered and I sank into the chair without choosing to.
“Is this your first time visiting?” he asked.
“We just moved here.”
“Ah, trying to find your place in a new town. Not easy.”
“My place?” A snort escaped. “I don’t fit in anywhere. This town won’t change that.”
“It can be hard, feeling different.” He set his papers aside. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Everyone else does! They want to talk about what I wear and what I do and how I’m a girl and should act like it. No one will just let me be me!”
I stared at him, shocked at my own explosion. Crap, crap, crap. Now we would need to change churches and Mom would—
But he didn’t look shocked. He actually smiled a little. “Ah yes, the whole ‘God made man and woman’ thing. So you must embrace your gender to accept being made in God’s image, right?”
I peeked at him through my bangs. “But… he didn’t?”
He shrugged. “God created a lot of things. The Bible also says there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. It also says there will be no marriage in heaven, which I think indicates gender won’t matter there. Perhaps won’t even exist in our new bodies. We’ll be free of societal boxes and labels.”
I gaped at him. I’d never heard a religious person talk like that. “And the, in his image?” I stumbled, unsure how to ask my question.
“Being made in God’s image means we are able to feel compassion, empathy, understand each other and ourselves in an intellectual way animals can’t.” He squinted in thought. “The Bible uses a lot of female references to describe God and some of the Greek names for God are feminine. It’s clear God has elements of both genders and no gender. So how can a specific gender be what it means to be in God’s image?”
His words made a space fill in me, but I couldn’t quite grasp at the hope he offered. “People say I’m not accepting how God made me.”
He cocked his head. “I don’t think accepting who God made us is about saying our physical bodies are exactly perfect how they are. If your heart doesn’t work right with your arteries it’s okay to fix that. Why not fix it if your body doesn’t match your gender?”
He looked me straight in the eye. “I think God made you who you are. And who you are includes not feeling female.”
The next day his words rang in my ears as I approached my new high school teacher. I looked down at my jeans and t-shirt and took a deep breath. “Hi, I’m Clarissa Jenkens but I’d like to be called CJ and they/them.”
I held my breath as she turned to the class. “Please welcome CJ! They just moved here.”
Some heaviness deep inside broke free and fell away. Maybe fitting in here meant fitting into myself. For the first time I felt like maybe I could be happy being me.
References:
Galatians 3:28, There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Mat 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as angels in heaven.
Isa. 66:13: As a mother comforts her child, so I [God] will comfort you.
Psalms refers to God’s wisdom as female in many places such as 4:13: “she is your life, giver of life.”
The names of God: El Shaddai can be translated as “The Many-Breasted One,” and Shekinah as “She-Who-Dwells”
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
Many, many girls feel uncomfortable with their bodies. I HATED dresses and didn't start wearing them until I was in my 20s. If you told 13-15-year old me that I was the wrong gender, I might have believed you. But that is a case of learning to love and accept who God created to you to be - not who you think He made you to be.
I may disagree with your story, but that's the whole point of this topic, so well done!
Even someone's feelings are wrong and misguided, having them dismissed without any discussion can be counterproductive if we hope to welcome people to the love of God.
I am not suggesting a Biblical compromise. But, perhaps, a willingness to listen and then let God sort out the challenges.
Having said that, I MUST DISAGREE with your perspective on Gender. My worry is that you use scriptures to back up your argument and even describe God in female gender. It is important to interpret scripture in context and not infer your own meaning into scripture. We are to fashion our lives to scripture not the other way round. You say God is possibly both gender or no gender. This is scripturally wrong. God is always referred in scripture in the masculine analogy hence we pray - OUR FATHER. Unfortunately exposing this will take too long to write here but perhaps my comment will make some study scripture better with a good Bible commentary. This article may also help-https://www.gotquestions.org/God-the-mother.html
Likewise I must say that those who speak against these gender struggles are not necessarily unloving or critical as your story portrays. Rather it is more unloving not to tell people the consequence of their decisions and where it will lead. See my entry again - "A practical experiment with Gender". I have not shared my personal story in this entry but I will say a bit now- if Jesus did not save me, I was already on the Lesbian lifestyle pathway because I was growing up with hatred for men as my dad abused my mum. Like Corinne said above most of these struggles are linked to childhood identity crisis which the Lord can heal as we grow into adulthood. Jesus breaks every chain. For me knowing Jesus healed the pain of Childhood and today God has blessed me with a Godly family. Jesus can do this for anyone too.
Thank you, Sister, for writing. Keep writing.