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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: SOUL / SOLE (03/02/23)
Blue light illuminated my bedside clock, but I already knew what the time would read: three A.M.
Wide awake yet again. Night after exhausting night, sleep eluded me three hours after midnight despite the five A.M. work alarm. Beams of light from the street lamp outside my window dappled the dark in my room, but there may as well have been a power failure. My crushed soul languished in a dark dungeon of despair. Fatigue overtook my body, rendering it heavier than concrete as it sank into the mattress, too cumbersome to move. Life felt hopeless.

Eventually diagnosed with clinical depression, my faith in Jesus Christ was the sole source of enduring those endless nights of desolation.

Somehow, I functioned at work — barely. Only to return home, collapsing into my recliner and then bed. Oh God, help me. Persistent prayers seemed to ricochet off the walls rather than reach God's ears. My heart knew he was with me, despite feelings of abandonment from him, friends, and even family. Yearning for my heavenly home, thoughts of relief from the hurting sifted through my mind as I toyed with a super-sized container of pain reliever. Returning the bottle to the nightstand drawer and falling onto the bed, my pillow grew moist with tears from my broken spirit. Jesus, help me, I sobbed.

He heard me. 

Waking a few hours later, the once-silent nothingness of the night resounded with the joyful song of a lone bird singing its heart out. I felt comforted. The little fellow sang to me every night from then on. Appreciating the companionship, I called him my “Jesus bird” because his song consoled my soul.

Over time, and with professional help, the darkness gave way to light. Solely the Lord's work in my life brought comfort, joy, and purpose.

One of my favorite biblical stories about God’s comfort during periods of darkness is when Moses asked God to see his face.

“When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen.” Exodus 33:22,23 (NIV)

God answered no, explaining that it was too much for living beings to see the face of the Lord. Instead, God enclosed Moses in a tomb-like cave, shielded from the radiating Presence. However, Moses witnessed a glimpse of that Glory — the back of the Almighty's hand as he exited the cave.

I did not realize it, but that songbird in the night was my peek at God while he worked in my life. I likened the little singing bird to God's loving touch upon my soul, helping me sense his presence.

When bleak days happen -- and they still do, I remember that God is performing a humanly incomprehensible work in my life. My soul is comforted in understanding the darkness of those times functions as a haven while His radiance floats about me. That knowledge sets my spirit free to bask in the brilliance of God's Glory working in my life.

Only a great and mighty God could do that.

Dear Lord, Thank you for sending Jesus as your Rock of protection and for allowing me to see portions of your Glory as you comfort my shattered soul. Amen
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jennifer Percell
03/11/23
It is amazing the intricate ways God reaches into our souls. He knows the perfect bridge to bring us out of our darkness. Well written. Thank you for sharing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/11/23
This is a powerful testimony. The insomnia created a horrible cycle that only God could break. Depression is so everywhere these days, and many need this encouragement.
Rachel Rudd
03/13/23
What a well-written, powerful and nd needed testimony of God working in the midst of depression. I could identify with those nights of insomnia (from stress). I love how God used that little bird to show you a glimpse of him. He's such a faithful God! Thank you for sharing.