Not a Roar | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Not a Roar | Previous Challenge Entry
By Art Westefeld
12/15/22
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Myron Buroski sat at his desk and began to write his monthly report to the Earth Missions Council. He had to admit to some writer's block. The church plant on Qlag was going well, and he was nearly ready to turn it over to the natives. A Qlag led church, he realized, would be more effective.

Was he ready to submit a report that simply said he was ready to wrap up his ministry of five years and return to Earth? Maybe, but first Myron needed to discuss it with the church and his wife, Cedar.

In the meantime, what should he report on?

After a few moments thought, he realized he never reported about the interplanetary marriage counseling he performed on Tsab. The new Council head, Mike Smith, wanted a report to justify the flyer purchase they had made for him.

With a grin, Myron found his writer‘s block gone like the morning dew. His keystrokes seemed to whisper as he wrote: ‘Thanks to the Council’s generosity, I was able to help finalize the peace treaty between the Qlag and the Tsab, and progress the counseling and marriage arrangements for the son of the Qlag High Priest and the daughter of the Chief Minister of the Tsab.’

‘My first challenge was clearing entry patrol. I had been approved, but nothing that Qa-less had told me about Tsab prepared me for the volume at which they spoke. I spoke in a normal tone of voice, but the Tsab’s voices were like thunder to my human ears. My solution was to turn the volume of my comm unit to barely above a whisper.‘

‘I was worried about speaking on a world where the standard level of communication was a shout.’

‘After landing, I was greeted by the bride, Sisi, and her mother Samoht. Sisi took one look at me and screeched, “My marriage is to be officiated by a primate!”’

‘Samoht spoke in what I think she meant as a whisper. “He was recommended by your future sire-in-marriage.” ‘

Having learned to read feline faces over the last five years, however, her expression shouted that she thought Qa-less was insane.’

‘I responded in what I thought was a normal tone of voice, but the women leaned in close as though I were whispering.’

‘Samoht roared, “Speak up, Terran! No one will be able to hear you at the linking ceremony if you whisper all the time!”’
‘
‘Against my normal desires I shouted back, “Sorry, I’m not used to your atmosphere and the way sounds travel in it. I’ll try to remember to speak in a shout.”’

‘Sisi turned to her mother and asked, “Will Qotrom be able to speak to me in a normal tone of voice?”

She then turned to me and asked, “What’s the problem with our air?’’’

‘I responded, “Nothing. You were created to live in this air. Qlag and humans weren’t, but I don’t foresee any difficulties in your married life.”

Diplomatically I added silently, “I just hope you don’t roar at your husband.”’

‘So I gave my standard premarital counseling in all imperatives in a voice like I was trying to discipline my twins. Sisi seemed responsive to that style. I had already counseled Qotrom on Qlag.

Both Qotrom’s father and Samoht agreed that the actual marriage ceremony should be held on a neutral planet, so I am suggesting that the Council accept my request for a sabbatical on Earth, where I can perform the wedding, in the interests of galactic peace. Hopefully on Earth my normal volume will not sound like whispering to them.’

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