Previous Challenge Entry (Level 4 – Masters)
Topic: STAND UP FOR JESUS (don't write about the song) (04/09/15)
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TITLE: Our Time to Fight | Previous Challenge Entry
By Diane M. Bowman
04/16/15 -
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The white army was in utter disarray. Some soldiers were fighting with the black army against their own comrades while others appeared to have no idea how to use their armor. One soldier, really just a boy, had his sword upside down in its sheath and his helmet propped on the point of his sword. Instead of using his shield for protection, he'd fastened it to his shoe and was dragging it behind him.
Right in the middle of the no-man's-land laid, not one nor two, but many men. Praying for protection from the myriad arrows whizzing back and forth between the armies, I approached the soldier nearest me, intending offer aid if he was still alive. He raised his head at the sound of my footsteps and growled, "Go away. I'm trying to sleep."
"Sir, you're in the middle of a battle. This is neither the time nor the place for slumber."
"It doesn't matter. Our leader's already won the war. We didn't even have to do a thing. This battle is just a formality and I prefer sleeping to fighting. Now, go away!"
Thoroughly bewildered, I turned to one of the white-clad soldiers who fought alongside the black army, "Why are you fighting your own men?"
"I was bored." He shrugged. "We'll win even if I fight with the black army for a while. Besides, some of my fellow soldiers were getting on my nerves."
Leaving him, I questioned the boy soldier whose shield was dragging behind him, "Why are you in complete chaos? Did no one train you to fight?"
"Train me to fight? Why? Our leader's already won the war." He pointed to the helmet perched on his sword. "These are just trinkets to entertain myself with."
Looking around, I searched for someone who could explain the bizarre battle before me. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a group of white-clad soldiers advancing against their enemy. The obviously skilled soldiers each overlapped their shield with the shield of the next man, providing the group with full protection from all attacks. Hoping these wise men could offer some insight, I asked them to tell me what was happening.
"The soldiers that aren't fighting are just a little mixed up. Someone's spread a false rumor that, since our leader already won the war; we don't need to engage in the battle. I used to believe that myself. Truth is, he's still fighting for each one of us. This is our time to fight and we must win our own personal battle with his help or we won't have a part in his victory."
"Why doesn't someone tell them? If they don't stand up and fight - they'll die."
"It's not that easy." The soldier replied. "They have to want to know. Look over there." He gestured to their leader.
I turned to see the leader sprinting across the field. He stopped by the boy and began demonstrating the proper wear and use of armor. "Tell me what just happened." I said.
"The boy turned to ask him for help. All we have to do is show a willing heart and he'll guide us 'til our battle's won."
His armor now properly placed, sword ready at hand, the boy marched swiftly toward the band of soldiers who were advancing against the foe. I stared in awe at his sudden change as he joined in the group and began to wield skillfully both his sword and shield.
Just then, one of the soldiers who had been fighting against his comrades glanced over at his leader. When the leader caught his eye, the man immediately fled the black army and returned to his post.
As I watched, the leader turned and ran to the side of the sleeping man. Kneeling down beside him, he whispered in his ear. The man immediately sprang to his feet and joined the band of advancing soldiers.
"What did he say to you?" I questioned as he passed by.
"He asked me if I could stand with him for just one hour."
Who was this man whose very sight and words elicited such a dramatic response? Determined to have the answer, I walked up to the leader and inquired, "Who are you?"
"Jesus."
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Wow!
God bless~
I spotted a word or two missing, but it didn't take away from this amazing write.
The ending was perfect.
Your descriptions came across very strongly to me, with good words. Maybe in a few places there were some passive "were" and "was" sentences, but I thought there were a lot of action and salsa words. Opposing, clashed, disarray, whizzed, myriad, trinkets . . . and I keep finding more. :P I thought the writing was lively and engaging and the message was very profound.
Great job. Blessings, LaVonne
A wonderful allegory.