The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1347 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
07/21/06
I love you similies, your use of powerful, forceful, graphic words really work with this. There were a few minor things like a missing word and a sentene that needed restructuring towards the end, but other than that this really packs a punch and demonstrates the 'behind the scenes' look at a soul coming out of darkness into His marvelous light. Great job!
07/25/06
From darkness into light, powerful telling!
07/25/06
Powerful descriptions and images. Transfered from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. Wonderful writing. It was poetic in a sense. loved it.
07/25/06
I stop at the edge of Love’s reach.

I love this line. How many of us actually do, and never go any furhter. It's such a turning point. I was lunging with you, running with you. Powerful descriptive writing.
07/25/06
The personification of Love is very effective here. Nice!
I agree, great job!
07/26/06
This is SO compelling, so gripping. I don't think I blinked the whole time I was reading it. Such vivid description! Wow.
Very descriptive, very well done. Good job.
This is probably one of the best expressions of the soul's dilemma since Paul wrote about it in Romans 7. Wonderful job. I loved it.
07/27/06
This is my favorite part, a terrific explanation of the soul:
"I am your soul. I caretake passions, regulate anger and love. I pastor creative design and unleash careless desire. The mind obeys me, and the heart is my slave. Eat, lust, hate, or feel nothing at all, I control the output. If this body had a spirit I would be wielding it like a sword against my enemies and presenting it like a bouquet of roses to my lovers. In my cage I am in control, the master of my destiny, and king of action. Why should I give away my power just to live in a larger cage?

"But Love calls...."

This does bring to mind poetry, with depths to explore, through all the images you conjure up for your reader.