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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)
I am torn in two. In my chest I feel the terrifying pull of Love calling me out of the shadows, and in my ear fear screams at me from my nightmare.

Maybe life is not so bad in my dark little cage. I get what I want, pretty much. The food is passable, and I’ve learned to satisfy my lusts, somewhat. Suffering will be no worse if I say “No” and choose not to dash from here to there. Besides, there is a fearful cliff outside my cage door, and the chasm below is deep and deadly.

But that light! Life is so much more comfortable in-between darkness and twilight. In the light everything I am and do will be exposed and open to investigation. Love will know my hates, nightmares, and perversions. . I will never be allowed to stay in the light if what I really like to do in the darkness is discovered. Love can’t be that forgiving.

If I dash maybe I can escape the beatings. Not likely since my wounds are self inflicted and I can’t flee from myself. Maybe Love will take the club from my hand, but it certainly can’t heal my open sores and deep blue bruises. I deserve the beatings for what I have done. Love can’t be that merciful.

I know escape must take a jolt and then a dash because the arms that hold me here are strong and the door may not be open long.

So I shall go, or not. I shall forsake my comfortable nightmare for the uncertain daylight and peace, or not. I have to make a decision since I now know there is a choice; escape or stay in the cage. I’m up. I’m down. I take a step toward the door. I shrink back. I call out for help, but my cries for help are drowned out by the screaming all around me.

“God help me! I can’t surrender!”

I am your soul. I caretake passions, regulate anger and love. I pastor creative design and unleash careless desire. The mind obeys me, and the heart is my slave. Eat, lust, hate, or feel nothing at all, I control the output. If this body had a spirit I would be wielding it like a sword against my enemies and presenting it like a bouquet of roses to my lovers. In my cage I am in control, the master of my destiny, and king of action. Why should I give away my power just to live in a larger cage?

But Love calls.

So I push myself off the filthy cage floor, lunge for the door, and begin to run.

The cage door is behind me, and I’m in full stride on air and then on a bridge that has suddenly forms under me. I run with my eyes tightly closed and my arms out in front of me. I begin to stumble more than run, screaming my fear and my need to the Love that I beg to wait for me. I can’t hear the screams behind me anymore. Desperation has taken over, shutting out everything but the call of Love.

I stop at the edge of Love’s reach. In a moment of mad immodesty I expose it all, pouring out the bitterness and the gall, and confessing my depravity and perverse thoughts and actions. I am undone, unwound, and empty. Certainly now that it knows all I that am Love will not accept me. I am such a fool.

Love takes a step toward me and I am instantly lost in His embrace. The last of my resistance disarms in His presence, and my self will is dethroned. Love takes the club from my hands. I am Love’s slave. He pours oil on my wounds. I am love’s child, again.

I, your soul, answered Love’s call out of your insane hunger for escape. I knew the least we could expect was punishment. You came by grace and mercy with no guarantee of entry into His kingdom. But He has fallen on your neck, wept joyous tears, put his robe on your neck and ring on your finger. Tonight new wine will be plentiful and the fatted calf will be eaten.

Father will celebrate. His son has come home, and a soul has been saved.
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This article has been read 1347 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Lisa Vest
07/21/06
I love you similies, your use of powerful, forceful, graphic words really work with this. There were a few minor things like a missing word and a sentene that needed restructuring towards the end, but other than that this really packs a punch and demonstrates the 'behind the scenes' look at a soul coming out of darkness into His marvelous light. Great job!
Rita Garcia
07/25/06
From darkness into light, powerful telling!
Brenda Craig
07/25/06
Powerful descriptions and images. Transfered from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. Wonderful writing. It was poetic in a sense. loved it.
Sue Dent
07/25/06
I stop at the edge of Love’s reach.

I love this line. How many of us actually do, and never go any furhter. It's such a turning point. I was lunging with you, running with you. Powerful descriptive writing.
Jan Ackerson
07/25/06
The personification of Love is very effective here. Nice!
Venice Kichura
07/25/06
I agree, great job!
Joanne Sher 
07/26/06
This is SO compelling, so gripping. I don't think I blinked the whole time I was reading it. Such vivid description! Wow.
Tiffanie Chezum
07/27/06
Very descriptive, very well done. Good job.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz
07/27/06
This is probably one of the best expressions of the soul's dilemma since Paul wrote about it in Romans 7. Wonderful job. I loved it.
Edy T Johnson
07/27/06
This is my favorite part, a terrific explanation of the soul:
"I am your soul. I caretake passions, regulate anger and love. I pastor creative design and unleash careless desire. The mind obeys me, and the heart is my slave. Eat, lust, hate, or feel nothing at all, I control the output. If this body had a spirit I would be wielding it like a sword against my enemies and presenting it like a bouquet of roses to my lovers. In my cage I am in control, the master of my destiny, and king of action. Why should I give away my power just to live in a larger cage?

"But Love calls...."

This does bring to mind poetry, with depths to explore, through all the images you conjure up for your reader.