Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)
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TITLE: Far Away Near | Previous Challenge Entry
By George Parler
07/19/06 -
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Still the image is before me.
The constellation of your face
Lingers among the stars,
Moonlight dances on ocean waves,
Lightning faints on the horizon.
You are absent and present;
You are far away; you are near
Look for me, my love;
Close your eyes,
Feel with your heart;
There will you find me.
Raise your hand into the breeze,
Feel my heart beat against the wind;
It beats for you alone.
The air around me becomes your fragrance,
The flowers of Eden are inhaled;
You are breath, my life’s breath.
My purest thoughts feel you;
My body longs and aches for you.
You share the space of my soul
Where God alone has spoken;
Two shall become one,
Love’s mystery revealed in us.
I rest in the twilight;
Dreams reach for you.
Their pleas stir my slumber;
How long can we endure?
My flesh rises in rebellion;
My soul weeps;
My spirit whispers, soon, soon.
I am broken.
The farther I am from you,
My heart struggles to be free
To return to its owner, you;
My heart is not my own.
I rise before the sun;
Standing on the edge, I wait.
The horizon parts from the darkness;
The light floods my face.
I close my eyes and you are here;
Arms reach for you,
My heart is not fooled.
My soul begs, don’t stop dreaming.
But the day calls its demand;
I feel you slip away from me.
Soon I will come to you, my love,
You are far away; you are near.
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I'd like to see you add a few more literary elements--perhaps some alliteration here and there, to further separate free verse from prose.
Lovely.
Where God alone has spoken;
Two shall become one,
Love’s mystery revealed in us
Simply beautiful, I loved the above lines. I see this as a three-stranded cord not easily broken, an interwoven love story reminding me of the scripture where David talks of seeking and requiring God as the very necessity of his life. Great job!
Very nice job.
God Bless!!!
This was just beautiful - I felt every emotion, every image was breathtaking, and I could not stop reading (and I'm not really a poetry person!).