Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Insulted (07/11/24)
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TITLE: A Sister’s Pain | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ellen Janson
07/18/24 -
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But when Peggy’s oldest, Tim, was eight years old, she began to notice that he appeared to be running in place whenever he was playing with other children. She brought her concerns to her pediatrician, pleading with him to watch her son run down the hallway outside of his office. After several more appointments and tests, Peggy’s fears were confirmed. Tim was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy, a progressive disease that attacks all of the muscles.
The disease became a huge part of life. There were surgeries, ever changing medications and countless doctor’s appointments. Peggy would often lament that, “everything - even the heart - is a muscle”.
Lynn wept for her sister often as she watched her manage this disease. She fasted once a week, begging God to heal Tim. She prayed with her children for a miracle, and explained to them Tim’s need for extra time and companionship. She did everything she could think of to help her sister.
But she couldn’t possibly understand all that it entailed to raise a disabled child as she raised five healthy sons.
As the cousins grew older, they began to live their own lives. Lynn’s family moved away for her husband’s career. Her sons began playing club sports at the same time Tim became confined to a scooter. Her sons eventually went away to college, while Tim earned his degree from a computer screen in his childhood bedroom.
Time and distance put a strain on the sister’s relationship, but nothing strained it more than the hardship Peggy lived with. Sometimes Lynn felt as if there was an elephant sitting with them when they were together. She was careful not to talk of the ease with which her sons lived life, and was often guarded in her conversation - desperately not wanting to hurt her sister.
Still, Lynn’s family visited often, and prioritized spending time with Tim. On one such visit, Peggy brought up the subject of genetic testing. She shared with Lynn that she was thinking of suggesting to her 23 year old daughter that she get tested to see if she was a carrier of the muscular dystrophy gene (which travels on the mother’s side). The paperwork had been sitting on her desk for two years, but she just wasn’t sure about it.
Lynn was devastated at the possibility of her niece never having children if the genetic test revealed that she was a carrier. She suggested to her sister that instead she should just have faith.
“That is so easy for you to say with your five healthy boys,” Peggy said defensively, and she became very emotional.
Lynn tried to console her sister, but Peggy rebuffed her attempts, and they both went to their separate bedrooms in tears. As Lynn lay in her bed sobbing, she cried out to God. She had insulted her sister - something she had worked so hard over the last twenty plus years NOT to do. She was still conflicted in her opinion on the genetic testing, but was convicted of her self righteousness in telling her sister what she “should” do.
The next morning Lynn timidly approached Peggy.
”Peggy, I am so sorry. It was wrong for me to even act like I had a right to discuss genetic testing. You are right…I have no frame of reference….I have not had to walk your walk. Please forgive me. I am so sorry.”
She broke down as Peggy accepted her apology, and hugged her. Lynn wished so desperately for a “redo”; she saw the pain that remained in her sister’s eyes.
Lynn continues to fast for her nephew’s healing, but now she also prays that God will guard her tongue, and help her respond to hurting hearts tenderly, with only empathy and grace.
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