Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Hunger (07/04/24)
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TITLE: “Home” | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ellen Janson
07/11/24 -
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But when Mary got a phone call that her mother was at the church, and wasn’t sure why she was there or how to get back home, the family could no longer live as if their world had not done a 180.
The day the doctor confirmed Jane’s diagnosis, Mary and her sibling “lost” their father as well. Tom simply refused to accept the diagnosis. He wouldn’t talk about it, giving the family strict instructions not to tell anyone about it. He refused to attend any Alzheimer’s Association support groups, or even contact them for guidance. Tom attempted to live life as if nothing had changed, all the while frequently arriving on a sibling’s doorstep at all hours of the day or night (often with an armload of dirty sheets) demanding “help with your mother”.
Eventually Mary and her siblings couldn’t keep up, and they hired in-home healthcare to supplement Jane’s new needs. But Tom treated the nurses as if they were guests. He refused to leave the house when they were there - instead offering them a chair and a drink.
Mary and her husband lived far away; they were going broke flying Mary “home” as often as possible to help her in-town siblings. More often than not, when Mary visited, she found expired food and filthy laundry. Everytime she asked her father what they had had for dinner the night before, he had the same answer - a hotdog.
After 12-18 months, and several trips to the ER, Mary and her siblings begged their father to authorize moving Jane to a memory care facility. She simply needed more care than they could provide; and they felt she was deteriorating rapidly due to minimal socialization, very little routine, and concerning eating habits. They were also starting to worry about the health and wellbeing of their father (who’s fall was the cause of one of those trips to the ER).
Tom finally relented but insisted on going with Jane. He would stay down the hall from the memory care wing in a private assisted living apartment. Mary and her siblings filled out the copious amounts of paperwork, secured the renter’s insurance for both units, and came in town to move their parents into their two separate apartments.
Tom was miserable.
”I just want to go home,” he insisted. “To be with your mother and my children.”
”But dad, that house wouldn’t be the same place because mom wouldn’t be there anymore, and your children are all grown,” Mary countered.
”Well that’s a shame,” her father responded.
”No. It’s not, dad. You and mom did a great job raising your kids, but you wouldn’t want all of them living in your basement at age 40 and 50.”
”That’s debatable,” he mumbled.
It was the same conversation almost every time Mary spoke with her father. Moving them yet again to another facility ten months later again did not appease him. His hunger for what was - what “used to be” - was insatiable; he simply could not, or would not, move forward. Tom had lived a beautiful, very blessed and full life, but he was so stuck in the past, that he couldn’t enjoy the present and he certainly wasn’t looking forward to the future.
The biggest tragedy was, try as she might, Mary could not get Tom to understand that “home” was not of this earth.
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In terms of a constructive comment, I felt the end was rushed. It might have been better to unpack the ‘home not on earth’ theme a little or even run it as a thread throughout. Overall it was a good but sad piece.