All Meat is a Real Treat | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: All Meat is a Real Treat | Previous Challenge Entry
By Catherine Green
07/11/24
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God wants fat Christians! The chubbier the better! He wants individuals who crave food, fuelled by the hunger pangs designed by Him. The type of craving destined to make us search out the most fulfilling fat-inducing food. And once we start eating, the encouragement is to keep on eating until we are so jam-packed that we are bursting at the seams. God wants us to be so full that we eventually feel replete, complete and never hungry or thirsty again. And to do this we have to make a choice to follow a new diet. A new regime. The best health kick we will ever have. We have to go on a Christ-calorie binge.

The good news is that there are no restrictions for this exclusive, all consuming eating spree. There are no limits to how much can be devoured. There are no syns, and definitely not a judging scale in sight. Although…and be warned, it’s probably best to start off with an appetiser. Frothy milkshakes are highly recommended. The aromatic grape flavour, picked straight from the vine is particularly beneficial. Then, of course this should always be followed by the rich passion fruit shake with its heady fragrance that lingers long after you have swallowed it.

1 Peter 2:2 LIKE NEWBORN BABIES, CRAVE PURE SPIRITUAL MILK, SO THAT BY IT YOU MAY GROW UP IN YOUR SALVATION.

Stomachs, lined and prepared. Now its time for the next course. No vegetarians or vegans allowed. For this course all meat is a real treat. There are no alternatives available. For those with intolerances, please be advised that the food on offer at this table is not gluten free or lactose free, soya free or egg free…it’s just free.

So all you skinny Jesus followers out there, get in line alongside me and start reaching for that animal protein. Feed on the goodness of the Lamb. Taste the unique pastoral flavour. Smell the divine aromas as you tuck into all that it offers. Sit at the banqueting table and enjoy the indulgence. It’s an experience like no other.

John 1:29
…LOOK THE LAMB OF GOD, WHO TAKES AWAY THE SIN OF THE WORLD.

Alongside the meat tuck into a tasty wedge of wholesome seeded Bread; savouring the precious moment. Partaking in a dinner with those who share the same meal plan is a divine and delightful date. And please remember, as you feast on this finest of food, to swill it down with a glass of aromatic, full bodied red wine.

Luke 22:19-20
AND HE TOOK BREAD, GAVE THANKS AND BROKE IT, AND GAVE IT TO THEM, SAYING “THIS IS MY BODY GIVEN FOR YOU; DO THIS IN REMEMBERANCE OF ME.” IN THE SAME WAY, AFTER THE SUPPER HE TOOK THE CUP, SAYING, “THIS CUP IS THE NEW COVENANT IN MY BLOOD, WHICH IS POURED OUT FOR YOU.

Consuming Christ-calories is not for the faint hearted. It takes time and discipline to learn how to take in all that nutrition in one sitting. Learning to digest slowly and letting the food sustain heart and mind is a process that can’t be rushed. It’s not a fad diet; it’s not a superficial quick fix; it’s a life sustaining eating habit that will make you deliciously fat and change the shape of you forever.

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