The Official Writing Challenge
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This is a sweet story. I really liked how you showed what integrity is without overusing the word. Check out the difference between hyphen (en dashes) and em dashes and when to use them. Use hyphen to hook together words that combine to make one word like ten-year-old son. Also try to avoid interabangs (?!) Instead use descriptions (body language) to show that surprise. I did enjoy your dialog. One thing I noticed is the boy asked what integrity meant but then looked it up without anyone suggesting it. It feels unrealistic. Either have Mom suggest he google it or have him say he didn't know so he looked it up. You did a nice job of delivering a clear message (that more people can relate to than want to admit) while writing on topic. I enjoyed it beginning to end.
04/25/24
You did an excellent job doing many things at once: showing our dissatisfactions, using a kid's viewpoint, and being utterly clear about integrity! I enjoyed your indirect lesson!
Congratulations on placing 7th in Editor's Choice. A wonderful story.