The Official Writing Challenge
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I enjoyed the story and thought the message quite profound. It is so easy to get caught up in dreams and what-ifs.

You do a lot of telling instead of showing. If you use dialog, body language, and thoughts, you'll paint a picture for the reader. You do have some great descriptions, but be aware of using cliche's and purple prose.

You did a nice job of writing on topic. The ending was really powerful. In helping others, we are often more blessed than those who we are helping. Nice job.