The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
This is a sweet short story. I enjoyed the descriptions. I struggled a bit with who we was. I think if you had added names or even something like My husband and I, along with some dialog, it would elevate the story quite a bit. I've been in southern California, and it is truly a beautiful place. I'd have loved your descriptions to help my faded memories. I also enjoy people watching. It's a wonderful way to understand what God is looking for when he watches me. You were definitely on topic, and I look forward to reading more of your work. Good job.
08/03/15
Beautiful story. I enjoyed this and you were spot on for the topic.

God bless~