The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/28/08
Oh, I'm sorry for Sophie but so happy for Bill. This was a moving and descriptive story that grabbed my attention and held it to the last word.
Your descriptions are really well done. My favorite:
His gnarled fingers lay loosely on his blanketed chest, each hand keeping the other company in a desperate attempt for warmth.
Your contrast of the coldness of dying and the warmth of heaven is very effective. I liked the glimmer of memory and humor, as well as the hope that characterized the old man.
08/29/08
Wonderful writing! I loved every word.
08/30/08
Life makes me cry easily, but it takes a lot for writing to make me cry. This piece makes me cry!!! (Dang.) This is unique because it's a typically unexpressed point of view. I love the subtle deep freeze metaphor and his unspoken, humorous "tuft of hair/good-bye flag" comment. I just really, really love this character's EXPECTATION rather than patience, which is really what God prefers we have. Thank you for blessing me so richly with this. Bless you.
Heaven..a wow wonderful story...Superb writing..
09/02/08
Beautiful story. I did think you meant "Bill come on and eat" instead of the word cone. Nevetheless this was great!
09/02/08
This is masterful. You have a winner here, I'm sure.