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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: FIRE (08/04/22)
Fire in the Church (fiction)

Occasionally, a few sparks and the hiss of a waterlogged charred board tried to bring the fire back to life. Four members and the pastor of the church stared at the remains of their church building, trying to grasp the enormity of their loss.

"I can't believe it." Darla watched smoke swirl up into the sky. "One hundred years of history is gone."

"I wonder if we can make the bell ring another day," said Pearl, who then burst into tears.

"Our piano," groaned Ruthie, the song leader. "How will we replace it? I’ll always remember playing 'In the Garden' at my grandfather’s funeral."

"We lost the picture of Pastor Leroy, the first pastor," moaned Pastor Nicholson. "We can't forget our heritage. He made this building into a landmark church." The pastor made a fist of determination. "We must rebuild it in memory of our forefathers. We'll make it like it was, only better!"

"NO!" The shrill voice of Mildred, the old woman walking with a cane, caused a chorus of disagreeing voices. She shuffled to a stop to face the group.

Pastor Nicholson calmed the group before speaking to Mildred. "How can you say that? Don't you want a new building? Don't you want to respect our traditions? It'll be God's house again.

"A house for God, yes," the old woman said as she nodded. "But was this church building God's house or our building? Look at what's being mourned: the ruined bell, a fifty-year-old piano, and a picture of a dead man. Why aren't we rejoicing in God despite the burning of the church? Do we require a building? Why are we bemoaning the loss of the heritage of our forefathers? They're in heaven and our memories, not this building. The Fire Marshal said the 1920's wiring started the fire. The walls hid a crisis in the making. This fire exposed a crisis within our attitude toward the building."

"What are you talking about?" asked the Pastor Nicholson.

"I'm talking about an attitude of pride. We've been idolizing this 'landmark building'. When was the last time an altar call invitation was given? Or that anyone accepted? What has worship amounted to? Three sentences in a prayer and two songs? What does God think?

The old woman pointed her face at each person, trying to access their reaction. "I, for one, agree with Habakkuk. He lost everything and said, 'Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.'" (Habakkuk 3:18 KJV).

Their eyes would not meet hers.

Suddenly, Ruthie lifted her eyes to the heavens and started singing Mackay's words to "Revive Us Again". All prayed by worshipping God and asking for forgiveness for wrong attitudes. The gathering ended singing the chorus, "Hallelujah! Thine the glory, hallelujah! Amen! Hallelujah! Thine the glory. Revive us again."
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Arlene Baker
08/27/22
I found this story delightful, challenging and inspiring. Good use of more showing than telling! Kudos for that.

My only suggestion is to tighten up some of the writing. One example: ...made a fist of determination. You are TELLING the audience that the pastor is determined. SHOW this instead with simpler language. The pastor fisted his hands. The audience doesn't need to be told of the determination... it is right there in the action.

Again... highly delightful. Congratulations!