The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 434 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Ah, John Newton. Nicely done!
06/17/21
You've been giving such great critiques on entries, that when I saw you had placed in this week's Challenge I had to read your entry and was not disappointed.
You drew me right in and bam- packed a punch at the end which made me want to re-read from your famous MC's POV.
Well done!
This is a great story, but I struggled at times to fully understand it. It could be my tired brain because after the 3rd read, it was a bit easier. Some slight descriptions as to setting, time, and circumstances might have made it easier for me to connect more. I think the dialog was great, but would love to see some body language to break it up and help set the mood. I think you did an excellent job of writing on a very difficult topic. You have a great message here too. Congratulations on ranking 5th in your level. Happy Dance.