Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: PHONE (11/10/16)
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TITLE: Irreversible Whisper | Previous Challenge Entry
By Teresa Odden
11/15/16 -
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Hanging out with girlfriends and endless conversations were two highlights as a teenager. This hi-tech gizmo expanded my reach where I could talk. Unfortunately, my father limited where I could carry on conversations with friends. It was prohibited to hide in my bedroom and talk. He told me if I had something to say it could be done in front of others.
There were times I’d be on the phone for 30 minutes, but that was only if dad didn't know how long I’d been talking. The moment he saw me I knew it was time to hang up. I said my good-byes and looked forward to school to carry on my conversation.
My father restricted chitchat by saying, “there's nothing more to say after 10 or 15 minutes except to gossip.” I had to be honest how easy it was to slip past the original intent of the call to “bad-mouthing;” a phrase he used.
If my father caught me speaking quietly, he would gently say, “time to hang up.” Speaking under my breath implied I was hiding something or being unkind. A reminder whispering wasn’t tolerated.
Dad was right. The longer I talked on the phone the original intent of the exchange was long gone. Too much chatting moved the exchange from a pleasant check-in and hello to a catty conversation where words appeared harmless, but were unsuitable, insensitive, and could be hurtful.
He wasn't a Christian and would often state, “do what I say, not what I do.” In the area of gossip, however, he lived by example and held us to a higher standard. There was zero tolerance for gossip.
My mother did the same. She would check on my grandmother several times a day. Each call lasted an average of five minutes. I never heard them speak unkind words of others. Speaking ill of family members and friends was unheard.
This is a value I hold dear from the example of my parents. Unfortunately, I can’t say I’ve succeeded in the way my parents exhibited, but it’s a value I try to live out.
The thing about unhealthy words is that I know when I’m cursing or blessing. (James 3:9) It doesn’t matter how much I rationalize my actions, I know when I’ve been nasty. Nobody has to tell me when I’ve crossed the line in the way the Bible describes as inappropriate conversations.
I don’t intend to harm someone with my words, but I can’t measure the negative impact I may cause. If I can’t share what I’m saying with the person I’m speaking about, chances are I’m tearing them down. Psalm 34:13
Words not only hurt the person I speak against, but the one I’m speaking to.
The Bible doesn’t limit warnings of gossip from my own lips. If I lend an ear to slander, I’m also guilty. Proverbs 17:4 states, “Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip …”
There have been times I’ve blamed the gossiper, not the listener (me). I’m in the wrong and accountable to God for what I say and listen to. Nobody walks away unscathed from fault-finding whispers.
The Bible is explicit that we are to be careful what spews out of our mouths and why. Ephesians 4:29: "Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what’s helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Like my father, God gives a gentle nudge to be kind. The challenge is greater now that phones extend beyond the four walls of my home. It’s not just an era to evaluate what I say on the telephone; it’s recognizing what I convey across all lines of telecommunication.
My father wasn’t guided by Biblical instructions. I, however, proclaim to live the Christ-life and my standards should be above his. I should be an example to God’s commands and be careful what I express.
There are many ways I can let my voice be heard today, including the use of social media. I do my best to encourage a healthy dialogue and to recognize when I’m expressing something that’s mean-spirited.
Typewriters have been replaced with computers and computers transmit communication around the world. There is no “hanging up.” Our whispers are irreversible.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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