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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Beach (07/04/05)
Going to the cathedral was a strenuous task for my troubled mind and body,so I strolled down to the nearby beach to think in accordance with what filled my subconscious mind - it was the thought of a loved one on whose grave I dropped a wreath a day before. The sorrow and the joy we shared when together were enough reasons to make me feel that life without him was nothing but a painful solitude. Tears coursed down my cheeks. Being blindfolded by the increasing tears and preoccupied with many worries, I couldn't notice the arrival of the stranger now sitting closely beside me. He placed an arm round my shoulder and i quickly turned round to know who was with me. But his appearance frightened me.
"Don't worry, Dorcas. I've come to comfort you." he said and wiped off my tears with his hand. Then I smiled - he was an angel from the Lord.
His seraphic nature soon influenced me as our discussion began. Consequently, my unfocussed gaze at the steady sea waves ended as i began to feel the comforting breeze and the angel's consoling words. My worries evaded me and overwhelming joy accompanied the inexpressible peace I experienced, and I thought it would be like that forever.
"Is this the kind of joy mother has been experiencing in heaven?" I said to myself.
"Yes, it is." he answered my thought. But I wasn't surprised, for I knew he knows my inmost thoughts.
As if with God himself, my body gained radiance each time we made contact. We clasped hands briefly at the time he was about explaining a mystery. That was when all of my whole body became radiant. Looking at myself, I discovered that his long wings were the only thing that contrasted him from me. We were both radiant, both happy, and conscious of the spirit world. No one would contemplate such a thing happening!
Yet could this beach be the last phase of life since i pressume that this steady sea is the gateway to the great beyond? This I was unable to ask since our discussions were more exciting than imagining myself almost out of earth. Afterall, I have walked down here myself before he came and got me so metamorphosed.
I enjoyed every bit of the time we spent together - it was a real solace. Then suddenly, he told me to close my eyes, then I obeyed and he showered prayers on me for a while. But as I opened my eyes, I saw myself lying alone on the sofa. It was all a dream!
"Good Heavens!" I exclaimed. My aged husband hurriedly limped to where I lay, Staring his wizened face at me.
"Is anything the matter?" he gasped.
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This article has been read 873 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
dub W
07/11/05
A work with some merit, the immediate stroke of the plot was a little to sudden, and of course without spaced paragraphs the essay was difficult to read. I think a thought through rewrite would make this a very viable essay. Thanks for posting.
Shari Armstrong 
07/11/05
Very nice descriptions and enjoyable read.
Val Clark
07/14/05
A precious story that works as an early draft. It would be so much easier (and a pacier read) for the reader if you worked with shorter sentences.
Nina Phillips
07/14/05
Quite a dream. I also think that it would have been a little easier to read if the paragraphs were separated. I enjoyed the story though, to fall asleep and walk in heavenly places. Very nice. God bless, littlelight
Suzanne R
07/15/05
What a dream!
Beth Muehlhausen
07/15/05
Ha! A great surprise ending! :-)
Maxx .
07/16/05
The thoughts of the first sentence could ahve been broken up throughout the story... easier to digest. Aside from that, nice and touching piece. Great scene and characters.