The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 777 times
Member Comments
What a moving story of restoration for this hurting couple! It seems so simple when a relationship is young, doesn't it? Thank you for sharing this piece, and I pray it will minister to many, causing them to think before they make a regrettable mistake. Or at the very least, give the broken pieces to God.
Great slice of life here, and what a perfect title... Thanks for the lessons.
Great title and lessons.
I would like to have seen more showing, less telling. For instance, to introduce the affair, instead of coming in with narrative, how about dialogue. "You what?) or David saying: "Honey, we need to talk."
I like the structure of this, how it went full circle with good flashbacks and flash forwards.
"Pride kept her pain inside,and depression took over."
I like this sentence immensely. It is so full of
emotions gaining the upper hand in our human nature! I think it is very well put.
Thank you for this discriptive and truthful style.
Very good descriptions here! I thought at first from the title that it was going to be about a boat and someone trapped at sea. There's quite a message in this piece. I liked how the ending came back around to the beginning though. It showed the hope and it showed that it is possible to get back 'together' even though all of that. Very realistic characters. ^_^
Dianne -- Your words just flow in this beautiful piece of reconciliation. You came full circle with the umbrella and weather, then from her husband being her rescuer to their marriage needing rescued. I like this sentence, “Jesus rode into their hearts as Rescuer” and then “cut through the deception and bitterness to set them free from the past.” Your title is very creative. Very nice work!

Hey! This is good stuff. You said you couldn't do dialogue, and now you've proved yourself wrong.
The key for me is putting yourself in the shoes of the characters, taking on their persona, the situation, the history etc etc and the product is - realistic dialogue. Then maybe you add some witty or dramatic touches to it when they've said their piece. Mostly works for me anyway.
I agree that more of the narration could be converted to dialogue, but don't lose that nice poetic touch you put in the narration.