The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/12/06
A tough read and a little confusing, took me a couple of times. The ending was a good summation though.
05/13/06
There are good emotions used here ... and the storyline is sound. I would like to see more showing vs telling. Let me experience the things your characters experience. Use my senses. That way you'd supercharge this great storyline! :-)