The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/12/06
A virtual prose poem. Work on this some more and think about how to expand it to a full powerful work. Keep writing.
05/13/06
If you rearranged this it would make a great modern hymn, as your lyrics are really good. In this format it was hard to read - perhaps posting it in line by line poetry form would make it easier.
This is good. Watch your spelling. Beautiful.
Some shining moments here!
I like, "...before autumn leaves fall before our doors...closed in purpose and intent or sprung wide with compliments." This is poetry, so please don't be afraid to arrange it to look like poetry--much easier on the reader. With practice, your verses can flow with your meaning, with rhyme simply a tool to make the journey pleasurable and memorable. Keep writing! There's a powerful voice inside you begging for release.