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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Break (02/06/06)
Emma walked slowly through the room, a flood of memories engulfing her at every sight and touch. Every object spoke of a time gone by: her tennis trophies- once her joy and pride, now a dusty memory of an old dream. Scattered photographs of old friends and acquaintances.

With sudden impulse, she knelt down and reached under the bed. She pulled out a small, white sequined box. With a twinge of pain she remembered the day she put that box away.
She swore she’d never take it out again.

She looked down at her left hand. The engagement ring sparkled and seemed to be a sign of a new hope and new life. Jesus, you are my newfound hope. You brought Josh into my life and gave me a reason to live. Will you please help me to face this.

She lifted the lid and took out an exquisite glass ballerina. The memory brought tears to her eyes. She remembered how her dad took her onto his lap and gave it to her. “For my princess” he said.
That was before they started arguing over every plan Emma had for her life. Before that dreadful day she told him she hated him and disappeared from his life completely…
“Coffee’s ready.”
Startled by her mom in the doorway Emma let it slip through her fingers and the glass ballerina fell and broke into pieces on the floor.
“Oh no!!” she cried. Tears now streaming down her face, she frantically started to pick up the pieces. She couldn’t see much through her tears and just felt her mom pulling her up and taking her into her arms.
“We’ll fix it, darling!”
“What if it can’t be fixed?” she sobbed, adding in a whisper… “What if he never forgives me?”

That night, when Emma went down to dinner, she noticed the broken pieces of the ballerina on her father’s desk. Her mom probably put it there, with a note asking him to fix it when he came home late that evening. He was always good at fixing things…most things anyway.

Over coffee she told her mom about Josh. How he came into her life, swept her off her feet, challenged her way of thinking and through his unconditional love for her and his unswerving faith introduced her to Jesus. She didn’t say much about the time since she left home. Somehow it didn’t seem to matter anymore.

The next morning, an empty kitchen and a full breakfast table greeted Emma.
When she finished her pancakes, she took a banana from the fruit bowl and wandered over to the bin as she peeled it. But what she saw made her stop in her tracks.
In the bin were all the pieces of her glass ballerina. She went cold, flooded with emotion. Is this the way my offer for reconciliation will be met? Is that the way he feels about his own daughter. Good enough for rubbish?! Slowly old anger seeped through and resentment conquered the disappointment she felt. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back at all. Jesus what now?! How do I respond to this?

The creak of the kitchen door interrupted her thoughts and a very awkward silence ensued as Emma faced her dad for the first time in six years.
“Your Mom told me you came” he said softly.
“Yes” she stammered, taken aback by his words.
“Won’t you sit down? I have something to say…”
Whatever she expected, it wasn’t this…and for the life of her she couldn’t think of anything to say. Not al the hurtful things she thought of, over the years. Not all the questions that plagued her at night. Not even why he threw away her ballerina.
She sat down quietly.
“Emma, it can’t be fixed”
“What has happened, happened. Neither of us can take back all that we said.”
New disappointment took hold of her and involuntary tears sprung to her eyes

“But maybe…” there was something in his deep brown eyes that glistened.
He looks different, she thought for the first time.
“Maybe we don’t have to.”
He took out a small red box and placed it in front of her.
Slowly she opened it and took out the glass ballerina, similar in every way, but if possible even more beautiful than the first.

“Maybe we can start anew?” his eyes gently questioning.
Emma put the ballerina back in the box and reached over to embrace her dad for the first time.
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This article has been read 966 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Kamp
02/14/06
I like the basic concept of your story, and the way the glass ballerina symbolizes the fragile and broken relationship. What's really nice is that by omitting the details of their disagreement the story is left for the reader to imagine or relate to. The flow seems a little awkward in a couple places, however. Seems the paragraph about the broken pieces on her father's desk should come after the coffee with her mom. Great ending.
Phyllis Inniss 
02/17/06
The story held the reader's interest and an end of a broken relationship with the father and the start of a new beginning gave the article a fine finish.
Marilyn Schnepp 
02/18/06
A bittersweet story of broken relationships. Well written with a nice ending. I liked it! A litle editing for typo's and this would be marketable! Good take on the topic...thanks for sharing.
Deborah Porter 
02/21/06
Hi Elmari. I wasn't able to comment on your story until after the winners were announced, but was determined to do so as soon as possible.

First of all, I'm not sure if you ever get to the Message Boards here at FaithWriters. If you don't, then you won't have seen the top ranking list, and won't realize that your story actually ranked 10th in the Level 2 listings. That's very good, so be encouraged. You also placed 36th over all (out of about 176 entries I think), which is excellent. So you really do deserve a pat on the back.

But that's not the reason I wanted to stop by and leave a comment. Your entry really hit home with me for some very personal reasons at this point in time. It was the only one that made me cry. Your story was definitely bitter sweet, and beautifully told. The ending, with the father's wisdom and grace, really touched my heart.

Keep writing, and know that you definitely blessed someone with this story.

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator and Editor, FaithWriters' Magazine)