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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: BLIND (06/03/21)
There is one person in particular I knew many years ago who was a determined atheist. He stated God could not exist since there is so much evil in this world, and there is no one to stop it.

Greg did not want to believe because he wanted to continue in his sinful ways. He convinced himself he was correct since God allowed children to suffer and die with HIV/AIDS. All of the beautiful creatures on earth were made by God, but he did not choose to acknowledge this.

Greg told me, “It is senseless to believe in someone who is a figment of Christians’ imaginations. No one with an ounce of brain matter would believe in a personal God and the Savior Jesus.”

I felt sad for Greg, who had been raised in the church. For him to believe so strongly and then to turn away from everything he knew to be true simply because he wanted to live a sinful lifestyle was insanity.

Greg told anyone who would listen, “God is not real. He was made up by those who need a crutch to make it through life. Those who believe are weak since they need something or someone to believe in.”

A friend of mine tried to convince Greg of the truth, but he would have none of it. My friend told him, “Someday you may regret feeling the way you do. If you ever want to talk to someone, call our church’s office and our pastor will speak with you.”

Greg watched both of his parents’ live through prolonged illnesses. His mother had breast cancer and his father was in a bad auto accident that resulted in a badly damaged liver. They had prayed for healing and deliverance, but as far as Greg knew, nothing happened. Greg’s parents had God’s peace at the end and they knew God was there with them.

Greg became bitter because his idea of God never materialized. He said, “If God was truly good, He would not leave His followers to suffer terrible illness and death alone. He would heal them and let them live a long time.”

My friend told Greg, “It would not take any faith to believe in the Lord if things happened the way you feel they should. God would fit into a need little box, and you would have Him right where you want Him. But God does not come to our beckon call. What He does is best, even when we don’t see it.”

As far as I know, Greg still does not believe. The last time I spoke with his sister, she said he is as stubborn as ever. I pray one day he will change.
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This article has been read 316 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Arlene Baker
06/10/21
This story has HUGE potential but lacks punch for much telling and passive verbs. I would suggest you rewrite the story to be completely dialog between Greg and yourself. Either make Greg 1st person or both 3rd person. Show the argument. Show his frustration. Show your own heart, but don't come off preachy. Rewrite for a much stronger ending, not "everything is rosy," but one that packs a punch.

There must be a reason why Greg turned his back on God. Find out why and develop the idea. Cause the reader to long to see Greg healed, not just shake their heads at his stubbornness.
Hope that gives some food for thought! God bless and keep writing!
Bea Edwards 
06/15/21
Your entry reminds me of the first chapter of Romans, where Paul explains how people suppress the truth in unrighteousness.

Arlene gave you some very good suggestions.

It might be fun to get into character as if you were in the conversation rather than 3rd person.

And I think you meant to say beck and call.
Avigail David
06/16/21
Poor and needy soul trapped in Greg's defiance towards His Creator. Nevertheless, Greg's parents' prayers for their son's salvation will surely come to his realization.
Thank you for this touching story.
Blessings to you!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/20/21
You did a great job of writing on a difficult topic. I could relate to it and think pretty much everyone can. Be careful of POV shifts. FW offers Gold and Platinum members the ebook Bring Your Writing to Life for free, but you have to ask for it. This book really helped me understand POV shifts and how to show rather than tell. You did a nice job of delivering a clear message. It was an interesting read from beginning to end.