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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: CONTROL (02/18/21)
Gina stood at the window, her eyes searching the scene below yet not really seeing. Her life was spinning out of control and she didn’t know what to do.

She was usually so put together. Nothing appeared to phase her, at least that’s what her outward appearance said. Always in control, no matter what. Today that control was gone.

A hand on her shoulder drew her attention. She turned and looked blankly at Jim.

Gina looked at him and turned back to the window. A lone tear made its way down her right cheek. Jim moved closer and wrapped her in his arms. “Please talk to me. Don’t shut me out. Whatever it is we can fix it together.”

Gina held on tight. Tears began flowing freely, then turned into sobs, gut wrenching sobs. Jim wasn’t sure what he could say or do to help, so he just held her, and prayed for her until he felt her body begin to relax.

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed.” Gina allowed him to lead her to the hospital bed and help her in.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s okay, there’s no reason to apologise, but you need to talk to me.”

Gina fought to regain control of her emotions. She couldn’t look at Jim or she wouldn’t be able to say anything. She took a deep breath and plunged in.

“I’m sorry. I know today was supposed to be our wedding day and my getting sick changed that. I know you wanted to talk about setting a new date, but I couldn’t do that until I knew what was happening.”

“And?” he asked hopefully.

“No, I’m not ready to set a new date.”

“I’m….” he stammered.

“Please, don’t say anything. I need to finish.”

“Okay,” he nodded. He sat back, waiting for her to continue.

Gina was quiet a few moments then continued, “I’m saying there isn’t going to be another date. I can’t marry you.”

Jim felt like he’d been hit in the gut. The air rushed out of his lungs as the pain coiled through his body.

“I don’t understand. We just postponed until you got well.”

“No,” she replied. “I postponed making a decision until I knew what was happening. Now I know and my decision is I can’t marry you.”

“What do you mean ‘now you know’? What do you know?”

“I know I can’t marry you. I can’t do that to you.”

What kind of answer is that? What can’t you do to me?”

Gina pleaded with him not to push her on this, begged him to accept it and move on, to find someone whole, someone who could make him happy.

Jim tried to make sense of what she was saying. If she knew what was going on, she must have seen the doctor and got her test results. That must be what this was about. He prayed silently for God’s leading and direction, for patience, wisdom and an understanding heart.

“I don’t understand what this is about but I’m not leaving until you give me the whole story. What did the doctor tell you that makes you believe you’re not the right person for me?”

“Please don’t do this,” she begged.

“What did he say?”

“It’s cancer,” she told him through her tears. “They have to do a full hysterectomy. I won’t be able to have children,” she continued between sobs. “You deserve to be a dad. You deserve someone whole.”

“Gina I love you, not the children we might have had and I intend to spend the rest of my life with you. If we want children down the track, there are other options. Think about it. God will give us enough love for each other and whoever else he chooses to bring into our lives. There are so many children out there who need someone to love them. I love you and I know you’re the woman God has chosen for me. Let’s set a date. Let’s get married. We’ll pray together for God to bring the children into our lives that He wants us to love and raise.”

Gina looked at him and knew in her heart he was right. Her life had blown out of control the moment Dr Fitz had given her the news, but Jim grounded her.

Together they would pray about their future. Together they would give total control to God.

NOTE: this story is fiction and is not based on any person known to the author.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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This article has been read 534 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Stephen Kimball
02/26/21
I like the idea, and your writing is good but something is missing. Perhaps a little back story would help make a more emotional impact. Keep writing, you are on the right track!
C D Swanson 
02/28/21
Beautifully written. Good story, which held an "authentic tone" to it, although it was fiction. I'm sure there are many individuals who have faced a situation based on your MC condition. I liked the ending.

Thank you,
Blessings~
Carolyn Ahrens
03/02/21
Loved your story.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
03/05/21
This is a powerful piece. You have a strong message in her and handled the topic nicely. Use more body language, thoughts, and dialog to paint a picture. Body language is a great way to show the character's emotion without having POV shifts. Also, I believe you meant faze not phase. Overall, you did an awesome job. Although I could predict the ending, I was still eager to read on. You made me care deeply about the characters. Congratulations on ranking 1st in your level and 18 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
Laurie Kiel 
03/10/21
This story grabbed my emotions and sucked me in. I enjoyed reading it.
Janice Aylor
03/14/21
This is a wonderful story.

I like the way you build up to the moment you tell why the Main Character feels everything is out of control and then you explain how the situation resolves itself.

I cried a little near the end where you say they are going to leave everything to God.

That is beautiful.