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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: FINISHED (04/09/20)
“Girls!” called mother. “It’s eight o’clock, time to get ready for bed. We have church tomorrow. Remember, its Easter Sunday and your children’s choir is singing
My Redeemer Lives.”

Nine year old Stephanie, and seven year old Melissa dug their Hello Kitty PJ’s out of their dresser drawer, ran to the bathroom and turned on the shower. When the water temperature was just right, both girls stood under the warm spray giggling as they washed their hair. Using their pink bath sponge, they showered, then grabbed their purple stripped towels and dried off. Once in their PJ’s they scampered to their bedroom. As they sat on Stephanie’s bed they called to their mom that they were ready for their bedtime story.

“I wonder what book mom will read tonight,” Melissa asked. “I hope she reads ‘Night, Night Bunny’.”

“Melissa, mom read that book last night, and the night before that,” grumbled Stephanie. “She better pick something else.”

Mom entered the room with a black book in her hand, and a smile on her face. “You girls look comfy. Ready for your story?” Two heads nodded in agreement.

“Tonight I am going to read to you from the Bible. It’s the Easter story and a powerful story at that. Would you like to hear what God says about Easter?” asked mom.

“Okay” said Melissa, a look of disappointment on her face at not having her favorite book read, again.

Mom opened the Bible to the Gospel of John chapter nineteen and began reading. She was reading from the International Children’s Bible, which was easier for the girls to understand. The girls listened intently asking a few questions as mom read.

When mom came to verse twenty-eight she read “After this, Jesus knew that everything had been done. To make the Scripture come true, he said, “I am thirsty.” There was a jar full of vinegar there, so the soldiers soaked a sponge in it. Then they put the sponge on a branch of a hyssop plant and lifted it to Jesus’ mouth. Jesus tasted the vinegar. Then he said, “It is finished.” He bowed his head and died.”

“Ewww” said Melissa. “I sure wouldn’t want to have to drink vinegar. That stuff tastes awful. Why did they make him drink vinegar anyway?”

“You know the story girls. Jesus was beaten and whipped by some angry men. Then he was placed on a cross and they drove nails through his hands and feet. He hung on that cross for six hours.”

“That’s a long time,” said Stephanie. “Almost as long as we are in school each day.”

“That’s right” said mom. “Six hours on the cross made it hard for Jesus to breathe, yet alone talk. Every time he tried, he would have to push himself up just a little with his feet in order to get a breath. His arms hurt. His shoulders hurt. His mouth was dry. He was exhausted. Yet, he had something very important he wanted the people to hear and knew if he didn’t get a little drink of something, he would not be able to utter those important words. His mouth was so very dry. Therefore, he said he was thirsty and the soldiers gave him some vinegar to drink.”

“I wish I had been there” uttered Melissa. “I would have given him some sweet tea to drink. That would have tasted better than that awful vinegar. Yuck.”

“Do you know what important words Jesus had to say to the people?” asked mom.

Stephanie nodded her head. “He said, it is finished. What exactly does that mean?”

“Jesus became the final and ultimate sacrifice for our sin. He came to finish God’s work of salvation in us. His death on the cross meant our sin was vanished. When Jesus died he wanted everyone around to know his work was finished so he cried in a loud voice these words to His Father so the whole world would know, and every evil force would flee, that Jesus’ work on the cross was completed.

Done.

Accomplished.

Paid in full.

Jesus’ last words have power. Power to forgive your sin and mine.”

“Mommy?” asked Melissa. “Will Jesus forgive me?


“Yes, Melissa, if you ask him to he will. Would you like to ask him now?”

“Oh mommy, can I?”

“Just tell Jesus you’re sorry for your sin and invite him into your heart” said Stephanie.

And with those wise words from her big sister, Melissa did just that.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Barbara Culler 
04/17/20
Interesting spin on the crucifixion story. But I can't see how those words could be told to children at bedtime. It's a wonder they didn't have nightmares! You did a good job with the body language and activities.
Danja Cawood
04/17/20
Thanks for the story. Good imagery and explanation to smaller children. Focus less on unimportant details, for instance, instead of describing the shower in details, just say, "after a quick shower" or something (unless something interesting or unusual happens during the shower). People find everyday routine tasks less interesting to read - rather spend those words on the interesting or important parts. Thanks for portraying this beautiful sacrifice so simply! :)
Arlene Baker
04/19/20
I agree with the comments above: focus less on unimportant details, such as the shower scene. This gives more freedom to develop the dialog the salvation scene for the younger sister, which could be so poignant, sweet and convincing. I did love the setting, though.

Also, be more meticulous in punctuation. If necessary, read the story out loud. So many errors are caught that way!

Your creativity shows great promise!