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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: RAIN (04/18/19)
When It Rains It Pours

Pictures and words cannot fully show, or describe the devastation. Imagine the aftermath of a tornado, only not for a small area, but for hundreds of miles. Look with me at the flattened homes, roofs torn completely off or crushed by a tree. There are entire shopping centers leaning with roofs gone and windows blown out. It’s heartbreaking beyond belief to see small and large buildings that are beyond repair marked for demolition. Some buildings may look ok, but a closer look reveals massive water damage to walls, floors, insulation and furnishings. Landmarks are gone. Trees are down everywhere.

Traveling through downtown Panama City, Florida was a nightmare the days following October 10, 2018. There was no power, no traffic lights, no gas stations or stores open. Residents were walking the streets crying or they were cowering in what was left of their homes waiting for aid to come. Help was on its way, but slowly creeping over the bridges to only sit where traffic signals were four way stops. Trucks filled with bottled water and food were slowly getting to their destinations.

Six months have passed. Still when I travel through Panama City and hear about Mexico Beach and surrounding areas my heart aches for the people. Debris is piled high on every street. Trees that are left standing are shaped like skeletons with deformed spring growth. Handmade signs stating when businesses will reopen, or that they are now open, are everywhere. Many homeowners are still commuting every day, sometimes hundreds of miles, from where they found lodging to their homes to meet with insurance adjusters, construction workers, roofers etc. Some people are living in tents, some in mobile homes, some in one or two rooms of their almost demolished homes. Many damaged homes are still standing with no repair work started, and some even abandoned with no way to find their owner.

This area has drastically changed. It will take many years for complete recovery. However, as many will attest, the most amazing thing about this terrible tragedy is the way people have come together to help one another. Neighbors organized and watched out for looters, or helped move trees from a crushed automobiles or roofs. Agencies, services and caring individuals managed to procure tarps, get them on to roof tops to protect against more rain. Churches and business owners cooked meals and shared food, baths, and encouragement.

Someone said the reason this terrible tragedy has not been largely covered by the media is because there were no riots, and looting was minimal. People came together to help one another, they did not demonstrate, complain, or cause more damage.

This is not a story, it is true life in the aftermath of Hurricane Michael. May this be a plea for prayer for these amazing people who have vowed to be “850 strong” and rebuild, recover and continue to love and care for one another.

When we hear this saying, “when it rains it pours” it usually means trouble comes after trouble. When God’s mercy rains it reveals love, and pours out righteousness and blessings.

“Sow for yourselves righteousness; Reap in mercy; Break up your fallow ground,
For it is time to seek the LORD, Till He comes and rains righteousness on you.”
Hosea 10:12 (NKJV)
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This article has been read 451 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Barbara Culler 
04/26/19
I know that pictures can never really show the real devastation when disasters happen, but your words helped put it into perspective.
C D Swanson 
04/27/19
Love your message and your entry.
Well done,
Blessings~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/04/19
There are a lot of great liines in this piece. Your first conflict (man vs nature), right in the beginning, pulls the reader right in immediately. Your descriptions are vivid and powerful. However, along that thought, I don't personally care for the author speaking directly to reader. For example in these sentences: Imagine the aftermath of a tornado, only not for a small area, but for hundreds of miles. Look with me at the flattened homes, roofs torn completely off or crushed by a tree. Because I can't go and look with you and you can't include pictures it makes me feel left out. A simple tweak can fix this, and it includes body language, which is a great way to develop your MC: The aftermath of the tornado stretched for miles, I covered my face with my hands in a futile attempt to block out the scene before me. Doubling over, I grabbed my stomach as the bile burned my throat. The sight of flattened homes..buildings evoked much emotion in me. By adding body language, dialog, and thoughts (maybe even a prayer), you can bring your MC to life on the page as well as painting such vivid mental pictures. The foundation is strong. The transitions flow nicely too. Your grammar is great (although okay should be spelled out or both letters capped. OK? There are some extra commas like in first line after show and a missing one after Florida. I use this online resource on a regular basis: https://guidetogrammar.org/grammar/commas.htm)
I'm not familiar with the saying 850 strong, so maybe explain what that means and from where it came. Your scripture selection fit in great with your clear, strong message. Another thing I might suggest is instead of using clichés like when it rains... put this in your own words. For example something like this might work: I looked at the area ripped apart and realized bigger trouble often follows disasters. When God rains his mercy on us... The title could then be something in your words like Ripped Apart...The Healing Begins. I think your story comes full circle. You definitely nailed the topic. Although it may feel like I'm nitpicking, it's because I feel your talent oozing out over your words and your passion is palpable. I'd love to challenge you to read and comment on every piece in this level and at least three each in the others. By doing this, you'll be amazed by how much you learn about your own writing and what works for you. I'm excited to read more of your stories. Congratulations on your HC!