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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Escape (01/02/06)
Depression and anxiety crept up seemingly out of nowhere, eventually propelling me along a deep, downward spiral, into a tangle of tension and despair. I couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t react to even the simplest everyday event. During the day I curled up on the couch in a near-fetal position. At night I trembled in my bed, feeling that I lay under a heavy, gray blanket that pressed down not only over my body, but my very soul. This helpless state was not like me. I was busy, busy, busy, to the extent that, although I was a Christian and read the Bible and prayed every day, I often did it in a hurry, half my mind on God, the other half occupied with thinking of all the things I had to do that day. It’s not really surprising that somewhere along my harried way I lost His presence, no longer felt His nearness. The Doctor diagnosed it as “Panic Disorder,” and put me on medication, but I was desperate to escape the clutches of this black despair. With nowhere else to turn, I began to focus all my attention on God, asking for answers, seeking his face. I started reading the Bible slowly, pondering what messages it had for me. I read Christian help books, then read the Bible some more. Suddenly it became imperative that I copy down certain verses that resonated for me in a special way. Without planning it, I memorized scripture, something I had always found it difficult to do. Gradually, over the weeks God led me to a vivid appreciation of His greatness, what a magnificent book the Bible is, and how beautiful the words of scripture are. As I began to recover, I realized that although God allowed the physical healing to come from the medicine, the soul’s healing would come directly from Him. The Doctor could find no specific reason for the onset of the illness, but I believe it was sent by Him to get me to slow down, spend some time with Him, and to diligently seek His face. Now, in the quiet hours of the night, I repeat the verses I memorized during that black time, saying them over again with awe and gratitude. As I lie in peacefully in bed, no longer trembling under the heavy gray blanket ot anxiety, I thrill to the implications of the first lines of a special verse: Psalms 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” (King James). And I am free, escaping from my spiritual solitude and at one with Him again.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jeanne E Webster
01/10/06
I agree with you about the healing therapy of scripture. It works!
Sandra Petersen
01/13/06
Something wonderful is happening here through FaithWriters! Healing and shared testimonies that help others to heal is the fruit of God's move in FW, and your article is one of them.
Our faith walk can become so mechanical, and we can be so busy "doing His Will (or is it our own?), that we sink into depression and panic attacks.
Wow! You describe perfectly what it is like to feel this way, and then how to climb out of the pit of depression!
The technical aspects: check for typos, divide this long testimony into two paragraphs, one devoted to the descent into depression, the second telling of God's healing touch on you.
May the Lord continue to bless you and show you how to use your experience to reach others who are hurting!
Amy Michelle Wiley 
01/15/06
I, too, had "depression and anxiety creep seemingly out of no where." I thank God that He has pulled both of us out of that. It is always encouraging to hear other's stories. :-)