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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: COMMUTE (07/07/16)
I Hang Condemned

I hang on this cross condemned. This piercing pain is unreal my lungs burn with every breath. I know why I hang here, my fate is well deserved. I’m not sure which something got me here, ask the shop keepers or the centurion, the list is long.

What is my name? It doesn’t really matter. It could be yours; Jerry, Michael, Susan or Joy we all could be here.

I’m not alone. There’s the loud one; innocent of course, he is on the far side from me. It appears he thinks that with enough insults and curses he will be found not guilty and they will lay him down and pry the nails from his limbs. He mostly focuses on the middle one as if he is a threat and I’m not even here.

The man in the middle, it’s odd, he looks like they tried to kill him before they hung him to die. I haven’t seen such mutilation and I have never avoided the grotesque. I know firsthand what an angry centurion with a whip can do.

Yet in all the obvious pain I have never seen such peace and strength, no anger, no complaining. If I didn’t see the obvious I would say that he knows this is only temporary.

There’s all the people too, dozens, some weeping others throwing curses among other much harder objects. I should be grateful I guess if it weren’t for this man they mockingly call a king, my death would go quite unnoticed.

Of the three of us he is the quietest, almost sorrowful, and when he does speak it is to someone who is not here. It’s like he is talking to a memory of a person in a place far away.

I’m not sure what he did. The things I hear make no sense, from what I see if any of us should be crying innocence it would be him. But he doesn’t, as if he knows this is what he must endure.

I wish I had known this man before today. I do not believe that in death I will ever see a man like him in the place that I am going.

Damn Romans, who thought of this? I just want to die. I wish I could speed this up; my pain is unbearable, please, some water and just one good breath. Those who would think of the worst way to die do not possess the imagination to create this agony.

I’m sorry; I have to speak up. “Stop your insults, can’t you see this man did nothing to deserve being here with the two of us. If there is a God, he knows the guilty and the innocent. Don’t make your condemnation even worse.”

The one they call the King, I don’t think it will be long; I must speak to him before he is gone. “Jesus please remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Not expecting an answer I am astonished by the one I receive. He is telling me I will be in Paradise with him, today, and somehow I know that he speaks the truth.

Though it is only midday, darkness has fallen and the ground is shaking terribly. This man Jesus is calling out to his Father to take him home. Now he is gone.

I will die soon as well, hanging on this tree, it does not seem right to die the same way that he did. I realize as I say that, I am dying just as he did, Innocent. His death removed my condemnation and replaced it with life. I do not understand this, but I know that it is true.

Though I’m guilty, I will be found innocent. Though I die I will yet live.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/15/16
This is outstanding. While many will use Jesus dying for us to fit this week's topic, you stepped it up a notch by telling it from the criminal's POV. I really enjoyed this. The only thing that distracted me was the many punctuation errors. You're not alone in not knowing exactly where to place commas or when to use semicolons. (Thankfully or people wouldn't need me to edit MS. ;)) Here is one of my favorite resources that may help:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
I think you did a fabulous job. This is definitely one of my favorites so far this week.
Trudy Newell
07/15/16
This touched my heart. Well written. You have talent, and it is obvious you want to use it for the Lord.

Thanks for this.