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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: SOCIAL (04/07/16)
The rain drops fell slowly then faster and harder. In fact, they felt more like pain drops; with each drop careening off the tap of my head. It was like being stung by little wet bees. And it all started with a decision that was made in pride.

It was picture day; the day that all of the young men and women get dressed up to take pictures. There were two things that were required of anyone looking to take part in picture day. They were nice clothes and money. We had neither! This would be the year that we would draw a line in the sand, and vow never to be that way; feel that way, again. We decided that we would skip school. Our empty desks would serve as our warning to the world that we would no longer be enslaved by hand-me-down clothes and lent filled pockets.

Where does one go when on e wants to skip school? We probably should have asked that question before heading out on our world changing journey. Because we didn’t know, and we were in no position to ask, we decided we would skip school by walking around the school.

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and it is raining outside, but that did not deter us, at least, we never said that it did deter us.. We waited patiently for our parade. Soon the sidewalks and streets outside of the school would be filled with well-wishers. Our fans loved us, and couldn’t wait to celebrate us. The parade would soon begin. We would give speeches, sell paraphernalia, and write books. They would be there to celebrate our greatness. But we had a problem. We were not celebrating anything.

Looking back, there is only one thing that makes me feel good about that day is when it happened. . I am so glad that we did not grow up during the age of social medial. If someone were there with their trusty camera, they would have been able to make fun of us forever. Someone would have tagged us, and no doubt the picture would have gone viral. We would have never lived our decision down. It begs the question: was Jesus a fan of social media? I would say that he wasn’t.
In 2nd John, the writer stated that he would rather not use paper and ink. Instead, he opted to talk face to face, so that his joy may be complete. John is stating that sometimes face to face is the appropriate way to communicate.
Secondly, God, in Proverbs chapter 6, lists out things that He considers to be an abomination in His sight. One of those is feet that are swift to sow discord. While this cannot be said about all social media connections, it is true...
Finally, the 133 division of Psalms speaks highly of people, not on a web site, but dwelling together in unity.
May God bless you in all of your relationships; especially the one you have with Him.
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This article has been read 459 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
04/15/16
I am with you for considering myself truly blessed not growing up in "social media/platform" days.

Great message! Wonderful job.

Blessings~
Larry Whittington
04/15/16
In the first paragraph I saw two words you might want to use. Use the word "first" after your word slowly to help show sequence of some time. The other word I think you meant was the word "top".

I think we all could come up with our own decision in our youth that we might be thankful not many other people knew about.

Keep writing about life stories.
David Guion
04/15/16
Yes, in "careening off the tap of my head" you surely mean top. Careening is not at all the right word, either. OTOH, I love "pain drops."

Be careful about consistent verb tenses and sentence structure. "Looking back, there is only one thing that makes me feel good about that day is when it happened." Better: Looking back, the only thing . . .

Also, "begging the question" is the logical fallacy of assuming the answer to a question that hasn't been raised. Lot's of people misuse the expression.

You have a compelling story. With more technical polish, you can make it truly powerful.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
04/19/16
I like your general idea in this charming story. We can all relate to the daydreaming of youth, thinking our revolt will change the world. You switched your tenses around a bit, but that's easy to do. The switch to social media felt a bit sudden to me. I'm not sure you needed it. I think it might have been more powerful to stay in the moment, showing how the MC must've felt when she realized there wasn't going to be any glory in it. The feeling of not fitting in hasn't changed throughout times. I think everyone can relate to it. I liked your message for sure. You did a nice job.
Bonnie Bowden 
04/21/16
I found it interesting that God did not choose to write with pen and paper. I don't think he would have embraced it either; however, I know He created it.

I found one sentences slightly confusing: Looking back, there is only one thing that makes me feel good about that is when it happened.

I think you meant lint filled
pockets.

I would have combined two of the sentences together something like this: Clothes and money were needed to take part in picture day.

Your article made me think.
Bonnie Bowden 
04/21/16
Congratulations, Steve, on placing 3rd in the Intermediate category.

I found your thought-provoking piece easy to read.
C D Swanson 
04/21/16
Congrats!

Blessings~