Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Husband and Wife (08/08/14)
-
TITLE: The Satirist's Guide To Marriage | Previous Challenge Entry
By Rachel Barrett
08/14/14 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
And live in matrimony
You must learn to set apart
The truth from the baloney.
From the day you say “I do”
The process set in motion
Might make you laugh or tear your hair
Or drink a poison potion.
Now girls, you have to understand
This man you call your bridegroom
Comes with bizarre instructions
For which, when you presume
To undertake his care and feeding
(This job should be a breeze)
My dear, you'll find there's no adapting
Man-speak to Womanese.
You men aren't getting off so easy
Get back in here and listen
Your lovely bride is not so simple
To decode as you envision.
For both of you, this thing called marriage
Will take immense adjusting
The craziness and free-for-all
Is worse than bronco-busting.
Of course there are some rules here
That aren't too hard to follow
Apply them, and your foolish pride
You'll never have to swallow.
First there's time—don't ever spend it
With your partner or you'll come
To get to know and understand them
Be safe and play it dumb.
That way, when she's feeling grouchy
Or his favorite dog is lost
Neither one will need the other
If their paths have barely crossed.
Next up it's “words”, the greatest danger
To a stable, loving union
Don't articulate your feelings
Or you'll swiftly run to ruin.
There's no room for mutual honor
Or (oh heavens no!) respect
Don't ever think you're one in Christ
If shared affection you suspect.
Be careful with those hugs and kisses
Don't dispense them openly
Or you might become too close
And that's too dangerous, you see.
Provoke each other every chance
And never ask forgiveness
Never tell him how you feel
Don't show her any weakness.
Are you getting the idea?
Not quite what you expected?
My dear, it's how a happy marriage
Comes to be perfected.
Just listen close to Hollywood
And they will steer you rightly
Don't you bother with commitment
Love? It should be taken lightly.
Forget about unselfishness
Maturity or patience
The best way to a fun-filled life
Is hauteur and complacence.
But if you don't take my advice
Don't say I gave no warning
Your marriage may become a port
In storms that come a-swarming.
Honesty and loyal friendship
May backfire and bond you
Close within God's threefold cord
Which both of you can cling to.
You may find peace and sanctuary
From stress that life will visit
Of course that isn't what you want
Your marriage to be. . .or is it?
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
Great job!
I don't know much about poetry but you succeeded in the chuckle. :)
It garnered smiles throughout.
God bless~
The title should have given it away that it is satirical but I still had to read a little to get it. Great job on dispensing with the advice in a humorous way.
I like the last stanza asking if this is truly what you want for your marriage. Do you want to follow Hollywood or the Bible's examples of marriage and relationships?
I too tried my hand at poetry for this challenge.
Wing His words
God bless~
God bless~