Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Deep End (03/06/14)
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TITLE: Deep Enough To See Jesus | Previous Challenge Entry
By Ruth Tredway
03/13/14 -
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"This family needs you, darling. Please get well," he had pleaded. "Just focus on how the chemo is beating the cancer."
But she knew. In her heart, his wife was ready to be with Jesus, but she knew he wasn't ready to let her go. Ellen loved to quote Corrie ten Boom, and to read of her struggle to find meaning in the suffering of her life. One of her favorite lines was: "You may never know that Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you have." - Corrie ten Boom
Ellen's absence is felt every day. William has days when he doesn't want to keep on living, but the children depend on him. He had to find a way to carry on, for their sakes. If she were here, what would she say? She could always sense when he was struggling with a decision. He tried hard to protect her from situations that didn't concern her, and to find answers with his business associates. How many times had she asked, "have you prayed about what's bothering you?"
Of course, he prayed. When he sat in church with her, and the minister prayed, he reminded God about the problem, just in case He was listening. But if He wasn't watching, then William would have to find a solution. After all, he was a man who could stand on his own, and do what was best for his family. Hadn't he proved it many times over, when his son actually accepted his advice, or when his daughter said she hoped to marry a man just like him?
Ellen was the only one who could get beyond his shell of confidence. She knew when he was walking on water and hoping not to fail. Then, she would gently remind him that he didn't need to feel alone. She would say again, "I care about you, and I hate to see you struggling. Jesus said he would never leave you. He wants to help, but you have to talk to Him."
He would hold her close, and whisper words of reassurance. Now, he couldn't hold her. Where would he go to boost his own confidence? He thought of another quote from Corrie, taped on the refrigerator: “There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still.”
The Spirit reminds him of Ellen's final words, often repeated and memorized. "I have to go away. I'm praying for you, that when I'm gone, you will remember that Jesus never leaves, never abandons his children. He will be listening when you are ready to talk."
He was ready now. More than ready; he needed help, desperately.
"Lord, it's me. William. I miss her all the time. Why did you have to take her away? We need her here."
Jesus whispers, "I am all you need."
"But did you have to take the heart out of this home? Did you have to take my wife, the mother of my children?"
"I am all you need."
Was that what Ellen meant, when she said maybe the Lord had to take away everything that kept him from seeing Him? Really seeing, talking directly to Him?
William spoke the unfamiliar words, haltingly. "I, uh, don't really know how to say this, but I guess I need you a lot right now. I don't know why Ellen had to die, but she was right about one thing. As long as she was here, I didn't think I needed to talk to you.
"But now, here we are, trying to make sense of the loss, the sadness. To be honest, it's not easy for me. I can't help my kids because I don't know who you are, or what you can do. I'm ready to listen. Please, forgive my stubborn pride, and teach me how to be the man my children need."
The Lord whispered back, "I have never left you. I will guide you. This will pass, and you will live again. Laugh again. Love more deeply. Trust in Me."
"Father, I trust you to carry us, the kids and me, through this dark time," William replied. "Thank you. Thank you for Ellen, and thank you for your faithfulness."
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