The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Your writing showed your love of surfing. It seemed you rode and enjoyed those words as a surfie would a good swell.
10/16/09
wow. A great peice. some lovely descriptions and such a dramatic story. I was right there with you , the dilema of who to help and then the little boy not breating and turning blue and the RELIEF when there was a happy ending all round. You defo deserve to win with this one!
10/18/09
Now that was a good story! I was torned with you. I'm not crazy about the title, needs a little something, but overall very good writing.
10/19/09
This was an enjoyable piece, and it was well-written. I don't think that you needed the final three sentences: "He smiled. I smiled. The boy smiled." For me, that level of sentences didn't seem to fit with the quality of the rest of your story. I think that you could have just ended when the MC saw Josh.
What an exciting story. I could just about feel the adrenaline rush as you saved that little fella. I'm glad Josh was A-ok as well. Thanks for a gripping story.