Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Memory (07/10/08)
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TITLE: Monsters | Previous Challenge Entry
By Brigitte Hidalgo
07/12/08 -
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She tried to relax, free her mind, but they were there. The memories, the events that had led to this point in her life, lingering at the edge of her consciousness...always. She flicked the fractured pieces from her mind like flicking the crumbs from the kitchen counter. She gulped the Chardonnay that had warmed in her chipped glass. She didn’t mind, it was having the desired effect.
Her phone rang cutting into her “peace”. She groaned, “What now?” She lumbered toward the kitchen, picked up to hear her mother’s chipper voice. She should’ve let the machine pick up!
She filled the wine glass passed the point a good Chardonnay needs to breath properly. This was not a good Chardonnay. With a gulp, she proceeded.
“Hey, Mom...” Mom was already knee deep into the conversation. April rolled her eyes, and tried to seem interested.
“...And the whole congregation is going to the town square for a big bar-b-que afterward.” Laura concluded. April hadn’t been listening.
“That sounds nice, Mom” April answered sweetly, but truly just wanted to be left alone. How was it her mother always called when she was finally relaxing? Did she have a hidden camera in the apartment? It seemed like it!
“ I was just about to step out for a bit, Mom...can I call you back later?” April attempted her escape.
“But Honey, you didn’t answer me... Can you get the kids next weekend for the church event? I think it would be fun for them!” Laura inquired enthusiastically.
“ Mom, you know Kyle gets them every weekend.” April answered curtly.
“Well, ok dear, but if you can swing it, I think you’d have fun too!’ Laura said hopefully.
“Nah, it’s a full weekend for me again. I don’t think so, Mom” April clunked the phone down, dusting off her wine with a large swallow. She refilled her glass and plopped back down on the stained sofa.
They were back, like monsters in some cheap thriller. The memories slapped her furiously with self hatred. They stabbed her with feelings of unworthiness. She had been given a gift and thrown it back at the giver. How could she set foot in that church again? They all knew the things she had done. Her sins were public. She had been a “good girl” at one time, but that was years ago, a lifetime ago. Noone would forget the past 7 years. How could they? April drank in the wine and purposely went to “that place”. The place that hurt the most. The memories of rejection, and her vindictive behavior. A tear hung to her lash but she brushed it away harshly. She was fully into self hatred now.
She relived the moment she discovered Curt was cheating. It was only 9 weeks before the wedding. He left on a Friday and noone knew where he went. Her never-to-be sister-in-law was more than happy to open her eyes. April was crushed. She had dated Curt for 7 years, since she was only 16. He promised he would marry her, while convincing her to have sex. She believed him. It took him 6 years to propose. He had changed the date twice. But she was convinced she could make him happy. She would show him he was making the right choice. He chose another just weeks before their nuptials, and she was humiliated. Her humiliation spawned hatred, self loathing, and (she now recognized) self destruction. Promiscuity and alcohol helped her forget, for a while. Then she got pregnant! She married Kyle, though she didn’t love him. And ended up here...kids, divorced, alone.
She cried forcefully now. This was not the life for her! She used to live for Jesus. She had wanted to serve Him. It all went so very wrong. Praying, for the first time in several years, she longed for Him to hold her. She suddenly remembered her old bible hidden away in a box in the closet. She began to read. The truth filled her. She knew what she had to do. She cried out to Jesus for forgiveness and restoration. She admitted she was broken. He promised he could pick up the pieces. And... she believed Him.
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Bless you for writing it.