The Official Writing Challenge
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Your dialog was a bit unrealistic, (kind of sounded scripted), but I really liked you description of the soul sandwich. Once you got into the body of your story, you did a nice job.
I agree with Debbie. “Speaking of ‘starving,’” Gale said, “and, I dunno, maybe this is just peculiar to women, I seem to have a gaping hole in my heart that is always empty, and I don’t know how to feed it. Nothing satisfies me.” That seems like an unrealistic conversation starter. Your points were right on scriptually and I enjoyed reading through the story.
I liked the names "Davidson" (David's son) and "Perdita" (perdition)--did Gale have a meaning, too?
A question like that is an evangelist's dream...but I agree, it just doesn't happen like that. Good theology, though.