Deathbed Assurance | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Deathbed Assurance | Previous Challenge Entry
By Rhonda Barber
08/01/24
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Deathbed Assurance

It was a cool, sunny February morning when the call came in. The exasperated nurse asked could I please talk to my father and reassure him that taking his medication and cooperating with the hospital staff would make him feel better.

“Of course,” I said, “let me talk with him and all will be ok.”

Only it wasn’t.

He was so unsettled that morning. More unsettled than I had ever heard before. “Dad, let them give you your medicine. It will make you feel better. It’s ok, Dad. They are trying to help.” He just carried on. “I’m sorry I haven’t been the dad I should’ve been all these years.” He continued to tell me how he had not been there for this, and he didn’t do such and such. He recalled a time before the divorce, when he and my mom were trying to get me in an amusement park one day for free, but I loudly stated my age, so they had to pay admission for me to get in. He laughed weakly. It seemed to be a reminder to him of how few memories he had of me.

“Dad, I know you weren’t there all my life, but lately you have called – you’ve kept in touch, and that’s what matters.”

The nurse got back on the phone and thanked me for helping him become cooperative so they could administer his meds. I asked the nurse when I could come see him and how long before he could go back home. She paused, then said, your father may not make it through the day.

My heart sank. We had a nearly non-existent relationship most of my life, but in recent years he tried to stay in contact as best as he could. Holiday phone calls and birthdays too, only usually a day or two late because he couldn’t remember the exact date.

I went through times of anger and sadness living without my dad. I didn’t understand why he was absent in my life. But when he attempted to pursue a relationship with me, although I could’ve rejected it, I knew that it was better to have some relationship with my dad than none. And now, I am glad I did, because he died later that day. All my life, it seemed that I was never on his mind, but it was me who he called that day, and it was the last conversation he had on this earth. The nurse told me that whatever I said to him gave him peace.

I’ve been told by many how admirable it was for me to extend such grace to my father. But to me, I see it as my reasonable service for all my Lord has done for me. None of us -no NONE – deserve the mercy our Heavenly Father poured out on us through His Son Jesus. There will never – no, NEVER – be a time when we should not show mercy to others. For the Scriptures say, “There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.” James 2:13 NLT

I miss my dad. I don’t have many memories of him, but I cling to what I have. Till I see you again, Dad, I’ll keep you close to my heart.

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