The Official Writing Challenge
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You have a great opening first paragraph. It demonstrates what you believe from reading the Bible. It pulled me in and made me think. Unfortunately the rest is almost all Bible quotes.(A good way to tell if you have an inequal balance, would be to highlight everything that is a direct quote. I bet even you might be surprised at how much is highlighted). I'd shoot for less than 20% at most. In a month or two, I'm going to give some tips on FW on FB about adding Scripture to entries. I hope you'll look for it and check it out. Instead of copying verses word for word, pick just one or two verses and expand on what they mean to you. Because of the links FW has, you'll be able to reference the verses and the readers can click and read them for themselves. Sadly, in today's world, many people will skip over pieces that have too many verses in them. I can tell you have a desire to share your knowledge and passion. I want to read more of that and learn from your experiences and interpretations. I think you have great knowledge to share and look forward to seeing you expand your writing so others can feel that passion too.