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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Parable of the Guests (Luke 14:7-14) (02/29/24)
CROWNED
It was another day at the prestigious all-girls boarding school. After getting dressed, the students made their way to the school hall for morning assembly. Chatter and laughter filled the auditorium as old friends reunite for a new term. Once seated, Principal Hakeem took the stage to address the students. He welcomed the students back from their break, and made an announcement about electing a new Crown Lake Prefect. Polite applause resonated in the building, followed by excited whispers among the seniors. The prefect role was an immense honour, responsible for organising events and representing the school.
Principal Hakeem continued, telling them the deadline to submit their essays and that the post was open to junior students as well. He concluded with a short prayer for the students.
As the pupils left the auditorium, a group of senior girls stayed seated discussing why Mr Hakeem would want to pick a junior student, disbelief etched on their faces.
A new student at Crown Lake sat quietly in the library. Her mind wandered from the book she was reading to Mr Hakeem’s earlier announcement. As she sat reading a book, a voice tried to persuade her to submit an application. Doubts crept in too -almost immediately. Hannah remembered a scripture '' Resist the devil and he shall flee from you''.
'' I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'' She murmured.
The next day in school, Hannah bumped into the popular girls on her way to submit her application, the accident made her drop the paper. As if the death stares weren’t enough, Brianna picked up the paper, mimicking Hannah as she read the words ''why I should be assigned senior prefect' which caused the group to give out a loud laugh, making Hannah feel stupid for trying. Sophie spoke up, '' Now listen, you four-eyed dummy, she said, emphasising Hannah’s glasses. “As you can read, it says SENIOR prefect, you better stay out of our way, misfits like you don't even stand a chance” she threw the paper at Hannah and signalled the girls as they went away, swaying their hips. Despite the humiliation, Hannah's faith stood strong, on getting to the principal's office, she said a little prayer, ''Lord, show me favour and grace'' she said as she remembered what the bible says in James 4:6, '' Lord, if I'm not ready for the assignment before me, if I'm not fit for the post, then give it to someone who deserves it, be it junior or senior'' she added as she remembered 1 Peter 5:5, '' I am a nobody in this school, Lord, lift me up'' she concluded with James 4:10
After a week, the big day had finally arrived. Crown Lake Academy was buzzing with nervous energy. The juniors were asked to dust and arrange the chairs. When the arrangement was done, Hannah looked at the setting, distinguishing the seats for the elite girls which she had taken time to dust. Hannah took her time getting ready. She thought of how her mother would have reminded her of Romans 4:20-21. It was her favorite. All too soon, the warning bell chimed. As Hannah hurriedly went in, something caught her eye, taped to the wall was a handwritten poster that says ’JUNIORS CORNER’ She blinked in surprise as she took her seat in one corner, barely able to see the stage. Applauses filled the room as Principal Hakeem made his way to the stage, he began,
'' Good day ladies, you’re all sparkling with expectation and excitement, isn't it?” he chuckled “well, we've gone through all of your application letters and I'm excited to see that some juniors have their eye on the spot too.”
“Now most of you, if not all don't know, but CCTV cameras were installed so I could keep a close eye on activities.’’ Principal Hakeem said with a smile. A hush fell over the crowd as Mr. Hakeem paused. Clearing his throat, he resumed his announcement.
“After much deliberation, I am proud to name our new Crown Lake prefect… Miss Hannah Loius!”
Silence hovered across the room, then everyone’s eyes turned towards the back row. Hannah’s heart froze, hardly daring to believe it could be true.
“Would Miss Louis please come forward?”
Rising on shaky legs, she curtsied respectfully to Mr Hakeem as he placed a badge on her uniform.
“Well-done Hannah” he said.



“Humble yourself before the lord and he will lift you up”
- James 4:10 NIV -
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Vince Martella
03/07/24
This is a pretty creative story. It did keep me reading until the end. I would encourage you to work some of your telling into showing. For example, some of Mr. Hakeem's instructions could be written as dialogue and the interaction between Hannah and the popular girls as well - which you did with Sophie. Also, some line spacing will make for a more enjoyable read. Good job, overall. Keep writing!
dee vine
03/07/24
Thank you, Vince Martella. I wanted to include the dialogue, but I had to stick to the word limit. Thank you for the encouragement.
Naoma Bird
03/14/24
I really enjoyed your story. I could feel the emotions of Miss Louis. Maybe because that is the place where Jesus found me, among the least of these.
Keep writing!

Naoma Bird