The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 684 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/12/23
Very good and oh so true. Keep up the good work!
10/12/23
Solid, well-earthed presentation.
I think this is a great article and would be just right for a Bible study or small group discussion. You did a fine job of writing on topic without using topic word while delivering a clear Christian message. Be careful of how often you repeat words. I really liked your first sentence. It was a great pull, but then you repeated the words in the next sentence instead of using a different phrase like: Mom devised an effective way to encourage me to get rid of my dirt. Later, you used the word concerned quite often. I think you'd be surprised if you went back and counted how many times you used it. The last thing is something that many people do and some are okay with it, but I'd encourage you to be consistent with your voice. You start with first person singular (I and me), which I think is a great way to connect to reader. But then you switch to plural (we, us). In doing so, you could be unintentionally leaving a reader out. Some readers may have taken the time to look that adage up in the Bible. For me, I'd feel way more connected if you stayed with I and me. It would seem like we were having a private talk. Then in the end you switch to second person (you), which can feel preachy or overdone to some. I think you did such an excellent job of delivering your message, you didn't need those last few lines. Trust yourself and the Holy Spirit and know the reader will understand the message. I also liked the Bible verses you used. They brought your point home and left me with a warm comforting feeling. Good job.