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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Proverbs 17:17 (05/25/23)
In It Forever

Why does he keep showing up at my door.
What does he want anyway?

Joseph was still recovering from last night’s party.
Beer bottles everywhere. Tables turned over.
George had once again arrived at his apartment walking in to check on him.
George walked over to his refrigerator stepping over the mess.
“Man, you have no food here.” Looking in cupboards after checking out his empty refrigerator.
“I’ll be back” he announced and left.
He returned shortly after with groceries for Joe.

Since meeting at church, George seemed to take a particular interest in Joe. What started out as getting rides to church, turned out to be a relationship that would forever change and influence Joe’s life.
He was seeking a mentor to strengthen his walk with God.
He’d been left with no father for years and the man he’d thought would be by his side, distanced himself from him.

Joe was struggling, especially in a strange city after deciding to pursue a college degree.
He easily slipped into familiar relationships he met at school and at the bar, back to the lifestyle he was used to.

George being a determined man, would not stop pursuing a fatherly relationship with Joe.
Whether it was bringing him food, or he and his wife taking him out for a meal.



On another occasion, Joe heard a car horn outside his apartment.
It was George, “Get down here we’re going for a drive.
When Joe got to the car, he was surpsed to see George in the passenger seat “Take us for a drive!” He announced.

Joe found it easy to talk about his struggles. He learned not only did George have a familiar past, but he genuinely cared about him.
Though he kept wondering, “why does he care about me?”

Coffee with George’s friends was also a learning session.
Joe was not really a social person; he kept his eyes down during conversations. George would do his best to involve him and when he tried to leave, he offered “Stay. I’ll give you a ride home after.”

On the drive home George would remind him, “When you talk to people look them in the eyes don’t look down.”
He’s able to do that now and people from his hometown even remark about his changed character.

One winter morning Joe heard knocking on his door.
He was not intending to answer but the persistence of the visitor was obvious they weren’t going to leave.
George had trod through four feet of snow to his apartment to take him for a drive.

Joe was thankful for home cooked meals that George’s wife lovingly prepared. He became part of their family and home.

Happy surprises were not normal for Joe, George and his wife would spring them on him when he least expected it. Though he didn’t believe he deserved it.

Including a trip to see family back home and celebrate his graduation along with all graduates in his community.
Celebrating his graduation with lots of pictures at the event.
His family staying at their home while they were there for his special day of accomplishment.
Taking him to visit with other family members in a nearby city.

Joe began to realize that George was not going to give up on him.

All relationships face difficulties, it's how each respond that affects the outcome of them.

George knew the importance of correction, even if it was unwelcomed. It isn’t easy to take, but when given from a heart that cares lessons are learned.
Joe learned what persistence and love is through a man who never gives up on him no matter what dire circumstances may come.

When Joe learned of his severe health problems, he reached out to George.
Even though he had returned home and was not on speaking terms with him, George and his wife dropped everything and drove to see him before his impending surgery.

Though their relationship was cut off for years George constantly pursued Joe to restore it.
When he returned to visit them years later, they rejoiced, but Joe was still apprehensive. He had grown used to disappointments and had difficulty believing he could be so loved and cared for.

Joe and George and his wife are together again as they moved to be near him.
Life has its ups and downs, and they are facing new struggles, but when someone impacts your life so powerfully, they are in it forever.
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This article has been read 238 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/03/23
This is a charming story. I liked the characters. Be careful about POV shifts (head hopping). The reader only knows what the MC sees, hears, says, or thinks. By showing this, you can make the story pop more with dialog, body language and dialog. I wasn't sure who spoke the first two lines. Mix up your sentence structure some to tighten up the story and keep the reader invested. I like your take on the topic. It's a thought-provoking story with a good message.
Bonnie Kronberger 
06/07/23
This story was such a testament to Godly perseverance and love on George’s part. Joe is forever blessed by such a “brother.”

You told the tale very well and kept my interest. As Shann above suggested, it needs some editing and corrections. Keep writing, then rewriting and editing by imagining you are the reader and know nothing about the characters. Does everything make sense and fit together?