The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/27/21
Very interesting article, thank you.

Some red ink. Read your article out loud a couple of times before submitting.

Keep writing.
11/30/21
Well done!
Romeo & Juliette was my childhood favorite read.
I always changed the ending in my mind and in my heart.

Good job with the topic,
Blessings~
You retold two classic love stories and did a fine job of writing on topic. I think you did something I used to do when I first entered challenge--I tried to tell too many stories. I'd suggest you pick just one and really expand on it. Get into the body language, dialog, thoughts. Paint a picture. The word count is so tight for one story, almost impossible to do justice to more than one. You did do a nice Job though. You piqued my interest and held it to the end.
I was intrigued with your handling of the topic. Clever. It's easy for me to be an armchair red inker - so I’ll just say I agree with the above red ink and that if you felt the combination of the three examples were the backbone of your story you could hone down some of Romeo and Juliet to give more to Edward and especially to the eternal Love story. But I enjoyed your mind set. Fresh