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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: LOVE (11/18/21)
As I approached the grey building just ahead of me, my thoughts were in turmoil. I felt nauseas, anxious yet cherished and nurtured.

Peculiar feelings for sure. I am not looking forward to the appointment.

Numerous questions flew through my mind. Most of which I do not want to know the answer to and, I do not want to pay attention to either. However, no longer my choice alone, I need to pay attention.

I noticed a café nearby and immediately turned away from the grey building. GB, I named the building; too many white coats in and out of GB.

I will be late for the appointment.

That’s ok, and if I miss it all together, that’s also ok, but now I need time to organize these uninvited thoughts. Thoughts I did not have or was not aware of yesterday or the day before when the appointment was made.

“One cuppa chino, please.” I smiled.

I looked out over the piazza whilst stirring in the contents of the elongated sachet.

As I tried to make sense of the questions, I became more aware of the warm feeling inside me. A ‘being held’ feeling; it feels so good.

“Can I sit here forever and hang on to this feeling?” I murmured.

It has only been four weeks since the official confirmation, but I knew all along.

I mulled over the questions in my head, where to from here…what will I do when I run out of time…what will I do when the time comes…and what will I do with a baby?

What will the people who knows me say…?

Immediately following the thought, a blanket of peace enveloped me. I shrug off the thought.

When the waitress approached, I asked for paper. She frowned.

‘My dearest child, I know you are a girl. I will call you Mercia and I need your help.

I have some serious thinking to do and life changing decisions to take.
I cannot help but wonder why this feeling of affection and attachment is so strong and you are only but a few centimetres long.

I feel embraced and a warmness; only your company can be the cause of it.’

I put the pencil down and wiped my damp cheeks.

‘The controversy, Mercia, I feel so intensely cherished since the official confirmation of your presence, yet I am right next to the hospital. Do I keep my appointment?’

I ordered another cuppa chino. I stared out over the piazza and turn within…

‘You know, I think God has allowed me…He has allowed me to have you, dare I say He planned it.

After making a profound effort in building a relationship with Him, and about six months of counselling, I need you for me to experience unconditional fulfillment. To give without expectation and to receive with gratitude only.

Dare I place and accept this attachment in my forever heart chamber? Dare I nurture this feeling of acceptance and chain it willingly around my neck?’

The queasiness settled.

‘I have not met you and yet I know you…I am keeping you, you are mine and I am yours.

I embrace you with all that I am.

From now on, I am your Mother.

Be at peace until we meet face to face.’

I turn my back on GB and head home.

Joy fills my heart and my mind. I knew I made the right choice, just as He did.

Pro 16:4a The LORD hath made all things for himself,
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This article has been read 324 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Marlene MCPherson
11/25/21
What a monologue! I agree with your decision.
Dana Tramba
11/26/21
Beautiful message and decision. thanks for sharing. I was adopted but thankful for the gift of life.
C D Swanson 
11/30/21
Wow!
This was an amazing entry! It made my heart smile. This was so moving, I was drawn into the MC's thoughts and feelings, immediately.
I was so happy with the choice in the end.

Thanks for sharing.
Blessings~

Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
12/01/21
This is a powerful story. You pulled me in right away. I had to make a similiar choice about 38 years ago and it was the best choice ever. Definitely the hardest too. I liked how you tackled it. My one piece of advice would be to work on making thoughts and dialog a bit more authentic. Use contractions and incomplete sentences. Often thoughts come haltingly, maybe just a word or two at a time. You did an outstanding job of writing on topic. Even though you didn't overuse the topic word, I've no doubt I could've guessed the topic if I didn't know it. That's extremely difficult to do in a subtle way, yet still be totally on topic. You've nailed this. You also have a clear message. You touched my heart.
Philippa Geaney
12/02/21
Congratulations - so well written. Beautiful. You had me guessing for awhile and then emotional and then relieved.