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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: CONFUSED (07/29/21)
I don’t see what the big deal is with God. I mean, he is just the man upstairs who set everything in motion. He does not care about us in the least. If he did, why does he let everything go to you know where in a hand basket? I have had some interesting discussions with my co-workers about God.

A young lady called Sandra wanted to know why I do not go to church. She said, “You ought to go to church at least once a week. Without it, I would not have anything important to say when I pray. I learn a lot about God and it helps me to think about him as I go about my day. It helps me to appreciate God more as well.”

I replied, “I don’t see the need to go to church and learn about some deity who does not even care whether I am happy or sad, prosperous or needy. He doesn’t care if we starve or are full and happy. I think he just walked away from all of us, so why should we care about him?”

Another of my co-workers, Gary, spoke up. “I talk to God every day and give thanks to him for how he takes care of me. He protects me from evil and he helps me when I have an important decision to make. Most important of all, Jesus, God’s son, died for my sins so I can go to heaven.”

“Here we go! I wondered how long it would be before someone brought up Jesus Christ.” I felt little pleasure as I said those words. It almost felt like I was saying I told you so to myself. Somewhere inside I was beginning to feel the stirrings of belief in God I had felt as a child. This was before I lost my Grandpa and my Grandma. I felt God had abandoned me after my grandparents died. All of my relatives said God had taken Grandpa and Grandma to heaven, but I had my doubts.

Sandra said, “What is wrong with bringing Jesus into this discussion? Don’t you want to go to heaven?”

I said, “I still feel angry with God for taking my grandparents away when I was about twelve. But I am feeling a bit of belief coming back at the same time. Perhaps talking about all of this has gotten me to think more about God then I have in a long time.”

“Maybe you ought to think about coming to church again. It would help you to think more clearly about what you believe and why”, Gary replied.

“I will think about coming to church. I have not attended in a really long time. I felt it was useless to go, but perhaps I am ready now to give it another try”, I said to Gary and Sandra.

I went home and sat down to think about what I really believed. I realized my anger toward God had twisted my thinking and caused me to not discern the truth clearly. The truth was I did believe in God, but I had run away from him because I let the bad things in life overtake my thoughts.

A few weeks later, two people showed up at my door. They had some literature from their church and offered it to me. We discussed church for a little while and I said I might come for a visit. I thought about it for several weeks.

The next week, I showed up at Sandra’s and Gary’s church.

FICTION
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This article has been read 317 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Laura Manley
08/07/21
Your entry had a lot of things presented for the reader to contemplate, but I am a little perplexed as to how it pertains to the subject. I didn't find that the MC was confused in her beliefs; just that she had stepped away from God for a while and had come back. I apologize if I have read this incorrectly. The entry also has a lot of telling, but not a whole lot of showing. All in all, the entry did read smoothly and gave the reader a lot of things to answer for themselves. God bless! Oh, BTW, I know your article was initially about the MC not desiring to get involved with God, but do you think you should have capitalized "He" in reverence to "Him."
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
08/07/21
I think you did a nice job of pulling the reader in right away. I could definitely see the topic in the story. It is confusing why God let's bad things happen to good people. It's also confusing why people blame God for bad things but not always give credit for the good things. The dialog is a great step to do more showing than telling. Add body language and thoughts too and you'll be even closer. Make sure dialog is authentic ; use contractions, slang, incomplete sentences. Take notes during the break about how people speak and then you can put it in your writing even more. You have a strong clear message. You may have wrapped up the ending a bit too neatly, although it didn't really happen over night, but as far as the reader was concerned it was wrapped up in just a few lines. Don't be afraid to have surprise endings or even open-ended. For example, maybe instead of having her go to church, have her agonize over it even more and show the reader the agony by having her check clock, read pamphlet, throw it away, pull out clothes, put them away again, leave it open-ended so the reader is guessing. You did a nice job of writing on topic while delivering a relatable message.
Bea Edwards 
08/11/21
Your entry and the dialogue had a realistic vibe.

I agree with the more showing than telling examples given by Shann. It gives a story more flavor.

I noticed a couple of typos, specifically in your entry it was commas. PUnctuation should be inside of quotations marks.