The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/16/21
Some great truths here, but slabs of print make the going heavier than it needs to be. More paragraph breaks will give readers more time to take in your work and reflect on it.
A good basic rule is for each para to house only one idea, or one person's speech.
You make some great points in this piece. This would make a great Bible study. Make sure you put quotation marks around actual excerpts from the Bible so the reader can distinguish between a paraphrase and an actual quote. Also, Bible should start with a capital letter because it's the name of a book. I like how you used the topic and delivered your message clearly.