The Official Writing Challenge
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You did an awesome job with this mini-testimony. I felt a lump form in my throat before I finished the first line. You grabbed my attention right away and held it to the end.
Just a couple of minor things: Although it's probably the opposite of what your teachers taught, don't be afraid to use contractions. They add authenticity to the MC's voice as well as shortening word count, which would give you more words to add body language, dialog, and the MC's thoughts.
Double check your punctuation rules,
and don't start a sentence with a numeral, but instead, write it out: three.
I really liked your ending. It brought it full-circle. You did an excellent job of writing on topic while delivering a clear message, making this reader stop and think, which is always a good thing. You have a lot of talent and potential. I'm eager to read more of your work and hope you never stop writing these powerful piece that many need to hear.
12/10/20
I remember in Jr. high school that a boy tormented me so much, I reached my breaking point. I stabbed him in the leg with a freshly sharpened pencil. He left me alone after that!