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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: BREATH (11/19/20)
The breath of God blows on His children and they are refreshed. The Lord will give His people just what they need. The other day I was at the hospital for my treatment, and I was there for nearly six hours. When I had about twenty-five minutes left, I called my husband to let him know I would be ready for pick up shortly.
When I did not get an answer to my ring after several attempts to reach him, I wondered where my husband was. He could be outside mowing the grass, or in the kitchen fixing a snack. Then I figured maybe he was driving somewhere in the car, and was not even near a phone. Then I thought about the Lord and how He always hears us. So I decided to talk to the Lord about this problem. I asked the Lord to let my husband be able to hear the phone soon and be able to answer it.
Then I tried a few more times to call, but there was still no answer. So I just decided to wait for a few minutes before trying again. The next time I called, my husband answered right away. He had been outside for a walk. He said he would be coming to get me soon. The nurse who was giving me the treatment said to wait a little while before going to meet my husband and I agreed. I had to make a few appointments for my next two visits to the hospital, but that would not take long. So I waited.
About twenty minutes later I decided it was probably time to leave, but I had to wait a little bit longer because the nurse was helping another person. Then she said it was time to go. When I went downstairs to make the appointments, there was a problem since one of the days I needed was already fully booked. I thought I was going to have to go to the doctor four days after I needed to go. But as it turned out, right at that time an appointment popped up exactly when I needed it.
I thought of it a little later; if I would have tried to make that appointment a few minutes earlier, I would have had to take that appointment for the later date and that was not God’s plan. He wanted me to have the best time possible, but I had to be patient and wait. He breathed on me and gave me His peace. God’s plans are always the best!
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Joy Bach 
11/26/20
Very detailed story showing how God works in our lives. Good job. One suggestion. Put a space between paragraphs. Makes it easier to read. Keep up the good work.
Barbara Culler 
11/27/20
Great examples! It would have been so much easier to read had you double-spaced between paragraphs.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
12/03/20
I love this story. The idea that God uses times we wait to glorify him struck me as well how everything needs to be in his timing.
You have quite a few comma errors (especially with word and). This is my favorite online resource:
http://guidetogrammar.org/grammar/commas.htm
In my opinion, it's a tad stretch of topic. If you take off beginning and end, I'd have no idea what topic might be. If the MC had breathing treatments, I could see it better (and perhaps she did, but it doesn't say). Read some of the articles in Master's or Editor's Choice and you'll see you the topic can be present throughout, sometimes without every using topic word.

You have a solid foundation here and a clear wonderful message. Keep writing. I look forward to reading more from you.