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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: SLANG (05/14/20)
Reflections,

“Hi Mum,” I said walking into the living room trailed by my two small sons. In an instant she summed up the situation. “There is no place here for you or your children”. Before I could respond, Rita, my youngest sister (now deceased) came in from work, very excited, also summing up the situation, saying, “Mandy!, there are 5 vacancies at the bank”. Mum, hearing what Rita said, immediately followed by saying “I am not looking after your children, there is no place here for you or your children”.

As a matter of fact I ran from the marital home where physical abuse, too much alcohol, a loaded and pointed 9mm was considered normal; Mum did not ask. Contact between us was sparse after that day.

And so life became one struggle after another, one slanging match after another.

Years later on a visit to Mum, after mentioning my two beautiful granddaughters she said, “I am not a grandmother, or a great-grandmother or a m…. .”. Stunned, I stood there. That day, almost 35 years ago flashed through my mind. My eye caught the lady on my right, her head dropped and rested briefly against the bedroom door before turning to leave the room; the lady on my left drew in her breath, recovered quickly and said she loves me.

You accept my children, you accept me. A statement so profound it has become a measuring stick. A truth that reaches just so deep, and is beyond general knowledge, except for those parents whose children were wanted, and welcome.

Tea and biscuits were served in the lounge. ‘Mum’ stayed behind in the room. Why o’ why had I not learned about this truth earlier, much earlier in my life; my life would not have been so complicated, so struggle some, so full of apprehension, so slangy!

It was only God and willing intercessors that prevented me from becoming totally irresponsible and going insane.
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This article has been read 388 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Barbara Culler 
05/21/20
Sad memories.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/22/20
You tell a powerful story. You have a nice beginning that sets the scene and shows conflict.
Make sure you start a new paragraph when someone different speaks or acts.
I'm not positive you nailed the topic, even though you used the word, it wasn't about slang.
My heart aches at many of the situations in your story, but you have a nice platform to bring awareness to domestic violence and generational neglect. It seems like you've stopped that process too. Good job.
Aanu Adeoti
05/22/20
Has a good lesson embedded in it. That was thoughtful
At some points, I couldn't flow with the write-up. I'm not sure, but maybe it has to do with organizing your thoughts and ideas, and also making sure they blend into one another
Keep writing!
Toni Babcock 
05/23/20
A lot of potential and interesting word-craft displayed in this short-story. After the sentence, "My eye caught the lady on my right, her head dropped and rested briefly against the bedroom door before turning to leave the room; the lady on my left drew in her breath, recovered quickly and said she loves me." I became a little lost however, because I wasn't sure what this meant or how it applied - I remained a little lost about the story after that but nonetheless the seeds of a powerful narrative is taking shape in the story from the start - keep writing!