The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/25/06
This poem is nearly perfect--rhyme, rhythm, great word choices and message. The only place where I thought it faltered was in the stanza with the Lark and the Shark; a forced rhyme that didn't seem to fit in with the excellence of the rest of the poem. I hope you'll revisit this, and look for a publisher.
01/25/06
I started to write "this is a "lyrical" poem; but then, what is the difference between "lyrical and rhthmic"? Since I'm not an expert...I'll just say "I liked it"; but I admit I had to read it twice to get it to make sense to my rather irrational mind. Thanks for sharing!
01/30/06
I think this is a fine poem -even philosophical, but I incline to agree with Jan about the stanza with the "Lark" and "shark".